AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I quickly rattled off the name and address of the hotel along with my room number. The overwhelming need to be in his arms overtook me. How was I supposed to go about my day after he told me something like this?
An hour and forty-five minutes later, someone knocked on my door. After getting off the phone, I’d showered and washed my hair and was now dressed in biker shorts and an oversized T-shirt. I’d flat-twisted my hair and pinned it in a low bun. After checking myself in the mirror, I headed to the door. My hand lingered on the knob for a moment. With a deep breath, I opened it.
There stood Callum dressed in a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and slides with a duffle bag in his hand. When his eyes landed on mine, he dropped the bag and pulled me into his arms. My hands went to his face, gently stroking his cheeks. I searched his eyes for any signs of anger or disgust. The only thing I saw in them was love.
“I love you too,” I whispered. I pecked his lips. “I love you too.”
I did love him. I loved him for everything he was and everything I was when I was with him. He’d been so good to me. He’d been patient, kind, and understanding. He’s been a source of strength, a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. How could I not love him?
We shared a sensual kiss before I pulled him inside. He grabbed his bag and followed me into the bedroom. After dropping it next to the bed, he took my hand and pulled me out onto the balcony. Taking a seat on the chaise, he pulled me down between his legs. His arms came around my waist as he kissed my temple.
“I’ve missed you, love,” he said.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“How’s your mental, baby?”
“I’m getting there, Callum. I’ve been allowing myself to just feel every emotion without fighting it. I think I’ve stifled a lot of my pain because I was made to feel ashamed of how I responded to it. The hardest part has been dealing with the grief of losing my son. When Eva revealed she was pregnant, it was like he grabbed ahold of me and wouldn’t let go. All I have left of him are a few things from the hospital, a few pictures, and his ashes.”
I paused for a moment and closed my eyes. I could feel myself becoming emotional. After a deep breath, I continued.
“I’ve gone through that box so many times. I’ve touched and smelled his things, and it never had a hold on me like it did this time. It haunted me for days. I couldn’t eat; I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my baby’s face. I see my parents, and they’re both telling me I need to release them all so that I can really start to heal.”
I sat up and turned to face him. He grabbed my hands and kissed them.
“I want to bury my son properly. I think if I give him a proper homegoing service, it will give me closure. Dr. Thomas, my therapist, said many funeral homes will do it free of charge.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“Me either. She said there may only be a small fee for the plot.”
“I’ll take care of whatever the cost is.”
“I can’t ask you to do that—”
“You didn’t ask. I told you, whatever you need from me, it’s yours. I don’t wanna hear any protests. Please.... Let me do this for you. You want him next to your parents, right?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“I’ll make it happen.”
I looked up at him. Where had this man been eight years ago? Why couldn’t he have been the man I ran into instead of Raymond? I might have saved myself from so much heartbreak. I often wondered where my life would have taken me if I’d never met Raymond. But on the other hand, I could have met someone worse instead of better. I could have been dealing with physical or sexual abuse on top of mental and emotional. Whatever the reason for Callum and me meeting later in life, I was grateful to have him now.
Chapter
Thirty-Two
Callum
I stayed with Pasha for three days before she decided she was ready to come home. During that time, I sat back and watched her during the early morning hours when she thought I was asleep. Frequently, she’d sit out on the balcony and meditate or pray. I wondered what was going through her head during those times. I didn’t ask, and she didn’t elaborate. I figured her talks with God were personal and something she needed for herself.
While she prayed for herself, I prayed for her. I asked God to touch her, heal her heart, and protect her mind. It’s hell trying to leave past trauma behind. Some things aren’t easy to let go of, her son being one of them. When I told her I’d pay for the costs of the funeral, I didn’t think twice about that. I thought about my parents and how I wouldn’t have had any peace if their bodies hadn’t been recovered after their accident.
I couldn’t imagine not being able to give them a proper burial or being able to visit them. While cemetery visits could be emotional, they gave me comfort. Sometimes, sitting out there with my parents granted me peace. I knew they were watching over Bella and me and were proud of what they saw. We’d lived up to everything they’d hoped and dreamed for us, or at least I hoped we had.
“All right, Mr. Ellis, this is the final total.”
Today was Thursday, and I was meeting with the advisor for the cemetery. Yesterday, Pasha and I visited the funeral home to inquire about a small service. The whole ordeal took a lot out of her, so I told her I would handle everything else. I roped in Avyn to get flowers and their friends together. My friends would be here to support her on Saturday as well. They were all on board to be there for her when I told them what we were doing.
