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“Look at me... A man like that would want nothing to do with a woman like me.”
“First of all, what you aren’t going to do is down yourself. You are a naturally beautiful woman, Pasha. Inside and out. If there are a few things you’re unhappy with, change them. But do it for you and you alone.”
“I just want to feel like myself again.”
“And you will. I have faith in that. This might be the end of something ugly, but it’s the beginning of something absolutely beautiful. Just you wait and see.”
We continued talking and eating while she told me about her plans for the night. Once we finished eating, we cleaned the kitchen and watched television for a while. When it was time for her to get ready, I retreated to the guest room. I decided on a nice, calming bubble bath to relax and reset. I lit a few tealight candles and played music while the tub filled. After stripping down, I eased my body into the water.
“Mmm... That’s nice...”
Resting my head against the back of the tub, I closed my eyes and allowed the music to soothe me. Once upon a time, this was one of my favorite things to do. My parents had a huge garden tub in their bathroom at our home. I used to lock myself in their bathroom for hours, listening to music and refilling the tub when the water grew cold.
While I soaked, I thought about what my next steps would be when my divorce was final. I knew I didn’t want to stay with Avyn for too long. She was a single woman, and I knew she needed her privacy, if for nothing but peace and quiet. The first thing on my list was looking for an apartment and a car.
While I was stuck in my head, Avyn came in and told me she was about to head out. When I looked at the clock, I realized I’d been in the tub for at least an hour. I decided to drain the water and take a shower. Once I finished my hygiene, I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. For a moment, I lay there looking up at the ceiling.
The gift bag from earlier caught my attention, causing me to sit up. Removing the journal, I flipped through the pages, landing on a page of aspirations.
What’s your aspiration in life?
I thought about it for a moment. What was my aspiration? Given everything that life had thrown at me and all I was dealing with, only thing came to mind... to be happy.
Chapter Eight
Callum
“Look at me, Uncle Cay!”
I looked up to see my niece preparing to climb up the mini rock wall of the playhouse with Armani on her heels. She was such a little daredevil at times.
“Be careful, Precious!” I called over to her. She grinned and nodded as she took the first leap. I held my breath until she made it to the top. “That little girl is going to give me a heart attack, man.”
Chris chuckled. “Just wait until you have one of your own. I thought having boys was rough, but Armani is no better. She runs right with her brothers. I’m glad she’s fearless, but I just want her to be dainty and girly for a little bit. My nerves can only take so much.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I’ll get to experience fatherhood one day.”
“You realize you actually have to date and get to know somebody first, right? Well, not necessarily, but I don’t see you having a child with a woman you aren’t married to.”
“I’m glad you know that.”
“When are you gonna get back out there then, man? You can’t use Bella as an excuse anymore. She’s married and well taken care of. You’re financially stable, and you’ve got everything going for you. Ain’t no excuse.”
“I’m not making excuses. I believe the woman I’m meant to be with will show up when the time is right.”
“The Bible says faith without works is dead. She’s not just gonna drop in your lap. You gotta put yourself out there.”
“Dating is hard, Chris. Some of these women only see dollar signs when it comes to me. They see a successful, young, Black man with money and think it’s a come-up. I struggled to get here. I’ll be damned if I let somebody come in and reap the benefits for all the wrong reasons.”
“I get it. Hey, Eva has a few single friends. Maybe you should let her hook you up.”
“I think not. You know I love Eva, but I’ve met her friends. They aren’t exactly my type.”
“Why? Because you can’t fix them?”
“Why do you and Bella think I need to fix people?”
“Why do you feel like you need to?”
