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Oh, God. She’s going to judge me so much; I can tell. “I don’t want to lie to you. I hope we can stay friends because I think the world of you.”
“Mackenzie. I think the world of you, too, but you have such a self-destructive streak.”
“Why?” I demand with a hiss. “Because I want a little fun before I’m married off as the perfect slave wife to a mafia clan?”
She huffs out a long breath, but she doesn’t deny what I say. How can she? I’m right. Camile is being virtuous and good, for what? To simply be married off like cattle to a family who thinks she’s good enough to breed with their precious son?
This whole thing stinks. I can’t say any of that, as I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but not everything has to be said. We both know it’s true.
Her shoulder slump as though she’s given in to the inevitable. “What happened?”
“Something between the four of us.”
“Oh, God, honey. You don’t know what you’re doing. They’re dangerous. Dom the most of all. He’s a sick, nasty, twisted man. Dead inside.”
I stare at her, and a flicker of anger ignites within. I came here wanting to make sure we stayed friends, but her attitude is pissing me off. She doesn’t know him. Dom is a fuck-up, for sure. He has his issues, but he also has lots of feelings. In fact, he has such strong feelings he has to cut himself to stuff them back down.
The way everyone judges him is wrong.
“You don’t know them,” I say. “They feel things, just like everyone else.”
She scoffs. “Yeah, right.”
I look at her. Her pretty face shows she is worried, and I can see her anger, and her words all come from care and worry for me. It still hurts, though.
“You already know how deeply Dom feels things.” I’m desperate to convince her. “You saw me after I had that…episode.”
She shakes her head at me. “You mean because he branded you with his own blood?” The sarcasm in her tone is evident.
“You’re missing the point. He only did that because I caught him cutting himself. He feels pain so deeply that it’s the only way he can let it out. I wish you could see how far he goes to try to hide it from everyone. His thighs are covered with scars. It breaks my heart.”
There is nothing but silence hanging between us. I never thought of silence as having a color, but right now it seems as dense and dark as the night sky when there are no stars.
Finally, she speaks. “If you’re so concerned about Dom’s wellbeing, maybe you need to convince him to get help. You’re not convincing me that he’s any less fucked up by telling me this.”
“He’s no more fucked up than me.” I’m getting pissed again that she won’t accept what I’m telling her.
She holds her hands up as if in resignation. “Okay. Okay. Let’s agree to leave it. I love you, Zee. I’ve not known you for long, but you’re a good friend. The Devils are still scum to me, but I believe you that they have other sides. I still don’t think that means they won’t hurt you.”
“I can look after myself. I promise.” I smile at her, trying to take away her concern.
“I’m not sure when it comes to those men that is true.”
She picks at her jeans and then fixes me with a steady look. “I won’t say a word about what you told me, but I think it makes Dom even more dangerous. Not less. He’s seriously messed up, and he could end up making you the same way. What is it they say? Misery loves company.”
“We’re not miserable when we’re all together. It’s different then. They’re different.”
She stands and packs up her bag. “I have to go. I’ve got a meeting with one of the lecturers. Do you want to grab a drink in an hour? A proper drink?”
I nod. “That sounds like a plan. Meet you in the bar?”
“Yeah, Don’t stand me up!”
I laugh. “I won’t. I promise.”
She walks away, hips swinging, and I smile to myself. I did it, and yeah, she’s not happy, but we’re still friends. It went better than I could have hoped, really.
A shuffling noise behind one of the stacks full of records to the right behind me grabs my attention.
