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“I have my father’s looks,” I reply.
I don’t. I’m the spitting image of my mom, with her honey blonde hair, blue eyes, and long limbs, but I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. Plus, I hate that my father is dead and Mom is remarrying, despite me being the reason she’s had to make such a drastic choice.
I want everyone to remember that he once existed, to know they can’t just erase him from history.
The thought of my dad punches me in the chest with grief, stealing my breath. My eyes prickle with tears, and I swallow hard. It’s all still so raw, so fresh, and now my grief is compounded by what I’ve done.
“Let me show you both to our living quarters,” he says. “Leave the bags. The staff will carry them.”
I don’t see any sign of staff, but perhaps this is the way they do things here. They make sure the hired help is neither seen nor heard.
We step out of the sunshine and into the gloom of the university halls.
I follow them through the building. High, vaulted ceilings reach overhead, and wood paneled walls are on both sides. Beneath my feet, parquet flooring is broken up by expensive rugs. The stern faces of previous deans and other scholars stare down at me as we pass. I’ve been around money before, and we weren’t exactly struggling ourselves until the last couple of years, yet I’ve never seen money like this. The air is fragranced with the rich scents of wood, polish, and the white lilies in a vase atop a dresser. This place reminds me of something I’d imagined British aristocrats living in.
It’s a very thin silver lining, but the education I’m going to get at Verona Falls University is second to none. I’d never be able to afford this kind of education on my own. We might have lived on the Upper East Side, but the past few years Daddy struggled to make as much money, so my education was decidedly not the same as most of my friends. It’s an opportunity and, as much as I don’t like it, I have no choice.
We take a spiral staircase up to the next floor.
“This is us,” the dean announces. “Our quarters are here,” he tells my mother, “and Mackenzie, your room is the next door down. I left it unlocked for you, but I will make sure you have your own key.”
“Thank you,” I mutter and keep walking, stopping at the door in question. I take the handle and push it open.
This is nothing like the usual university dormitory.
The bedroom is beautiful. Unlike the gloom of the hallway I’ve just left, tall windows let in plenty of light. The room is decorated in white and pale gray, with accent pops of pink in the cushions, throws, and pictures. A quick exploration reveals I have my own bathroom with both a claw foot tub and a separate rain shower. I even have a small balcony with double doors leading out onto it.
Curious, I open them and step outside.
I draw a breath at the view. From the front of the building, the university looked to just have one face, but now I see the buildings are set out in a quadrant. There’s an open-air courtyard in the center, though to describe it as a courtyard really gives no indication as to the size of the space. It’s complete with white marble fountains, and a square pool filled with clear, blue water in the center.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.
Guilt sweeps over me. I don’t deserve this. I should be locked up in a dark dungeon like the monster I am. I’ve taken a life.
A voice comes from behind me, and I jump.
“What do you think?”
I turn to find my mom standing there.
I open and close my mouth. “I’m not sure what to think. It’s…too much.”
“It’s okay to admit you like it.”
My stomach knots. She knows me too well. I don’t want to admit anything because doing so feels wrong.
My eyes fill with tears again. I don’t think I’ve stopped crying since it all happened. I keep replaying the scene in my head, reliving the moment I stabbed the pen into his neck and then realized what I’d done. Every time I think of it, I want to throw up. I’d just wanted it all to stop.
She crosses the room and pulls me into her arms. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.”
I nod against her, not trusting myself to speak.
“Nataniele is waiting for us outside. Remember what I said about acting normally around everyone else?”
“I remember.”
I wipe my tears and follow her back out.
