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I should hate this, but I don’t. I ought to say to stop, but I don’t. How fucked up am I that I’m so wet and throbbing just a breeze could set me off and make me come?
How sick in the head am I that I like the fact he’s got my face pushed into the mattress and my ass in the air.
He trails a finger between my pussy lips and murmurs, “My little sister is so wet for me. You might hate me, but your cunt doesn’t.”
“Same goes for your dick.” I push back against his fingers. “Are you going to fuck me, Dom, or spend your time pontificating.”
“Pontificating?” He laughs, then slaps my ass hard.
“Fuck, ouch.”
“You deserved it.” Then he grabs my hips hard enough to bruise and pushes into me.
He slides in smooth and easy, probably because I’m so damn wet. I don’t want smooth, though, and I don’t want easy. I want him to fuck the emotional pain out of me. I want him to chase the demons away. Right now, the way I feel, I’d go into that stupid fight ring they have out there and throw punches. I can’t. So, if I can’t fight, then I might as well fuck.
“Are you going to give me nice and gentle, Dom, or are you going to put your money where your mouth is and show me how much you hate me?”
“Fuck you, Duchess.” He pulls out and then does just that.
He slams into me hard, and I moan as my hands fist into the sheets. Soon he’s fucking me so hard and fast, I’m moaning and shaking. He grunts as he slams into my cervix, making me see stars. It hurts, but it feels good too. It’s a distraction from the much worse pain inside me.
His hands fist into my hair again, and he pulls my face up from where he had it held down against the pillow.
“Oh, now you want to see my face?” I taunt. “Thought you were too much of a coward. Had to take me from behind so you could get it up.”
I don’t know what’s happened to me. Where is this deranged talk coming from? This is so weird, even for two people as clearly screwed up as Dom and I are. I might judge him for being a dangerous weirdo, but what am I? I killed a man. My lover. My professor. He’s dead because of me.
The way I did it? A pen in the neck? Maybe Dom isn’t the most dangerous person in this room at all.
If I hadn’t dealt with my emotions, would I do it again? Maybe? I’m covered, though, because I’ve found the best safety valve ever. I’m pouring all of my anger, hurt, disappointment, and rage onto him. He’s giving it back to me with every thrust.
“Don’t mistake me not wanting to look at your superior face to me not being able to, Duchess.”
He pulls out of me and turns me over, so I’m on my back. Our eyes lock. His finger trails over my jaw, cheek, nose, and then down over my lips.
“So exquisite. My little sister is so pretty,” he says.
I bite his hand in reply, and he thrusts back inside me. He grabs my hands and pins me down and fucks me hard, but he never takes his eyes from mine. Not once.
With Tino, a tiny part of me felt like an object, somehow. Like I could almost be any pretty girl.
With Kirill, the whole thing felt like a dream.
This feels like one of the most raw and real moments in my life. We don’t look away from one another.
Not as my orgasm races through my veins, taking me over. Not as I gasp and shake at the intensity of it.
Not when Dom comes, too, straight on the tail of my own release, groaning and slowing his thrusts as he spills in the condom.
We don’t even look away once it’s over and the cold reality of what we’ve done rushes in.
Still staring at me, Dom sits up, taking the condom off and tying a knot in it. Watching me as if he can’t quite believe any of this is real, he runs his hands down his body, my gaze flicking to watch for a moment before I’m caught in the laser beam of his stare again.
He brings his fingers up, and they’re glistening with something. I realize it’s blood. His blood, from where he’s been cutting himself.
Never letting his gaze falter, Dom swipes two blood covered fingers across my forehead, and then down each cheek.
I recoil in shock and horror at what he’s done. “What the hell?” I try to look away, to grab something to wipe my face, but he grips my chin, harsh and determined.
