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Chapter 35
Mackenzie
Who the hell even am I?
I’ve completely lost touch with the girl I was only a year ago. A year ago, my life was normal. I went to a decent, normal school. I had friends. My dad was still alive. I hadn’t murdered a man, and I wasn’t fucking around with psychopaths.
I make my way through the maze of underground corridors, trying to find the stairs. I’m disoriented, and I’m struggling to keep my emotions contained. Being around Dom is a rollercoaster. One moment, I’m flying high, and then next I’m in freefall. One thing I know for sure is that I can’t trust him with my feelings.
I can’t trust him with anything.
Is there just a tiny part of me hoping he’ll come after me? That he’ll beg me to not leave and say he’s made a mistake and that…what? That he cares about me? Who the fuck am I trying to kid? Dom doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself.
Finally, I reach the stairs and grab the banister to keep my balance. I’m worried I might just pass out and fall back down them. My body doesn’t feel like it belongs to me.
Neither does my soul.
I get to the top and open the door onto the first-floor hallway. I practically fall out onto the polished wood floors. I look up at the gold-framed painted portraits on the walls, all staring down at me, their eyes full of judgement.
My stomach rises and falls in that now familiar swoop. Everything feels strange, like I no longer recognize where I am. My hearing becomes hollow like I’m underwater.
A fresh wave of fear rises inside me.
“Zee?”
A blurry face swims in my vision, and then solidifies to Camile staring down at me, her brown eyes wide with worry.
“Shit,” I manage to mutter. I’m lying on the floor. “How long was I out?”
“I don’t know. Not long, I guess, or someone else would have found you by now.” She glances over her shoulder. “I’ll go and get your mom.”
I grab her arm before she gets the chance to rise to her feet. “No, don’t do that. I’m fine. It wasn’t a bad one.”
“Wasn’t a bad what? Did you pass out?”
“Help me get back to my room, and I’ll explain.”
“Are you sure you’re okay to walk?”
I’m a little woozy, and her hesitation is irritating me, but then feeling annoyed after a seizure is fairly normal. “Yes, I’m fine. I promise.”
She still doesn’t look convinced, but she probably also doesn’t want to leave me here alone while she goes to get help. I’m grateful no one else is around to witness this.
“You’re hurt, though,” she says.
“No, I’m fine. Honestly. That’s not the?—”
“But you have blood on your face,” she interrupts.
I remember Dom smearing his blood on me, marking me as his. “Oh, it’s not mine.”
Her eyes go even rounder. “What?”
“I can’t explain here. Please, let’s just go back to my room and I’ll tell you everything there.”
I have the sudden urge to do exactly that—tell her everything. Not just about Dom, but about the professor and who my father really was, too. The desire to unburden myself from my secrets is almost visceral. But I won’t do that to her. I won’t make her a co-conspirator to my darkest secret and put her in such a terrible position.
I am going to have to explain the blood, though.
