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“But do you love him?”
She pauses and touches my hair, sweeping it back from my neck.
“Love isn’t always the most important thing in a marriage. We’re safe here, and financially secure. In a couple of days, we’ll legally have new names, and then we can put all that terribleness behind us. Those things are important.”
It all sounds horribly sad to me. Maybe that’s because I’m young and not a parent, but the thought of marriage without love breaks my heart.
“I’ll go to prison, Mom. If you don’t want to marry him, then I’ll face my fate and spend however long I need to behind bars. It won’t be a life sentence. I’ll get out eventually.”
“Darling, I never, ever want that to happen. What is it they say? A parent can only be as happy as their unhappiest child? I couldn’t live with myself knowing you were locked up in some awful place simply because you were defending yourself.” She took a breath. “This is okay, Mackenzie. Maybe it’s not perfect, but what in life is?”
“As long as you’re sure,” I say, my voice trembling with emotion.
“I am. And what about you? Are you okay? I see you and Dom have been getting along better lately. That’s a huge relief.”
I nod and give a small smile. If only she knew.
“Yes. Things are bearable now, Mom.”
“Good.”
She pulls me in for a hug and kisses my cheek.
There’s one more relationship I need to work on, and that’s my one with Camile. I’m hoping I can convince her that my relationship with the Devils is completely separate from the one I have with her.
I’m hoping she’ll forgive me for breaking my promise. I could keep lying to her, but that would ensure a broken friendship for sure, and I can’t lie to the only person who welcomed me here.
I kiss Mom back and decide I might as well face the music right now. “I’m going to find Camile and grab a soda, Mom. See you later.”
“Bye, darling.” She gives me a small wave and goes back to her dresser.
I watch her in the mirror for a moment, committing how beautiful she looks right now to memory, and then I leave.
It takes me a while to find Camile, but finally I do, in the library. She’s reading in a far corner, at a table away from all the others. I grabbed some sodas and a couple of candy bars before I went looking for her.
I walk up to her waving the candy. “Peace offering,” I say.
She glances up at me and shakes her head. “Where the hell did you go the other day, girl? Honestly, I waited ages.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I sigh internally. I seem to spend my life saying sorry to Camile, only to screw up all over again.
She takes the candy bar with narrowed eyes, but her lips are twitching at the corners. “My favorite,” she says.
“Of course. Always.”
She unwraps the bar and takes a bite. “So.” She chews as she speaks. “Spill. Where did you get to?”
My hands go to the button on my cardigan as I play with it nervously.
“Zee. I don’t like the look on your face right now.” Camile’s eyes widen. “What did you do?”
God, she can read me like a book. I glance around, but there’s no one at any of the tables nearest to us, and there’s nothing back here but rows of stacks and shelves. We’re in the academic journals section, far from the busier fiction section farther down. There are a few tables filled down there, with people who seem to be working on group projects. They’re probably doing things like ‘how to be the perfect mafia wife.’ Or ‘how to make sure your husband cleans up his crime scenes effectively.’
I almost laugh at the absurdity of my life right now. To add to it, I’ve done something so monumentally crazy, it makes this college look normal.
“I did something.” I lower my voice so it’s not much more than a whisper. “With the Devils.”
“The Devils, as in plural?” Her eyes stay wide but her lips purse into a thin line.
