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Sometimes I feel nothing but pure hate for him, and yet others fear, and very rarely something approaching mild affection. I don’t think I love him. Not really. Mother, yes, but my father is a bad man. Grigoriy. I think of him more as a person I vaguely know these days than my father. He’s not been a father-figure to me for many years, only a person who likes to terrorize me. He doesn’t deserve for me to think of him as my dad. He’s Grigoriy. Maybe I should start calling him that? No, he’ll hate it and take it out on me.
I do change his contact to Grigoriy in my phone, though, and feel a stupid sense of satisfaction at my micro aggression.
I have Calculus 4 all morning, and I’m not in the mood. Normally, I like math, but today my head is too chaotic to make order from random numbers. Should I skip it? I think I might. I’m going to say I was sick and go to the gym instead. I need to work this anxiety out of my body.
I hit the gym, put in earbuds, and glove up. It’s the punching bag for me today. As I swing at it, I imagine my father’s—no, Grigoriy’s—face up there on the bag. I visualize punching him in his steely jaw, his ice-chip eyes, his fucking perfect nose. I hate him. I seethe as I swing.
Hate. Fear. Hate.
I am hitting the bag too hard; I know that. I could end up damaging my hands, but I can’t stop.
“Wow, who got under your skin?”
The female voice is distorted over the music through my headphones. I pause and, breathing heavily, turn to see the blonde standing next to me. I’m surprised she’s talking to me.
I yank off my headphones so I can hear her properly.
“What’s up, Verity?”
She puts one hand on her hip, and her gaze lingers on my body. “You know, I always thought you were the hottest Devil, but it’s always Dom, isn’t it? He’s the one everyone treats like a god. He’s the one everyone sees as the leader. Why is that? Huh?” She licks her glossy lips. “I don’t think it is because you’re scared of him. Not really.”
I frown. “Of course I am not scared of him.”
She nods. “I know. People talk shit, is all.”
I know she’s trying to mess with my head, and normally, I’d not give a damn what Verity had to say, but today of all days, when I’m feeling so out of sorts, her words mess with me. I try to lock down my reaction, but I feel myself getting angry at Dom for always thinking he gets to be in charge.
“I saw him come out of Mack’s room this morning,” she announces. “I thought you weirdos always liked to do girls together? Seems like Dom has Mack and you right where he wants you.”
I tense.
He was with Mackenzie? Last night? After she left us high and dry to see Camile, she let him in her bed? Into her room? Her private space?
For some reason, it gives me a bad taste in my mouth.
Verity’s not done yet. “I bet he was fucking her while she slept. I know Dom, and he has some strange kinks.” She moves closer, her breath tickling my neck as she leans in. “Then again, I suppose we all have our odd little ways. I love the smell of fresh sweat on a guy.”
She breathes in deeply, and her hand moves from her hip to land on my upper right pec. She holds it there, looking at me.
Then, bold as fuck, she trails her hand down my body and runs it over my crotch. I’m already half hard. I might not like Verity, but she’s kind of hot, and the thought of Dom and Mackenzie sleeping together all night has me both angry and turned on. Her hand brushes over my length, and it hardens some more.
It would be so easy right now to fuck Verity. I’d be within my rights to. We haven’t sworn to be faithful to our doll, and she’s fucking around with all of us. Giving us favors here and there, picking and choosing who she spends time with. It would serve her, and Dom and Tino, right if I blew this up by screwing Verity.
I rest my hand on her hip, and she smiles, and that does it. That smile. That fucking mean-girl, cat-that-got-the-cream, self-satisfied smile, is a bucket of cold water over my libido.
I laugh. “Verity. I wouldn’t screw you if you were the last girl at Verona Falls.”
I grab my towel and wipe the back of my neck as I push by her.
“Whatever. Your loss,” she says with a high pitched, fake giggle. “Your girl is screwing the other Devils, though. I guess you don’t mind being cuckolded so long as it’s one of your little gang doing it to you.”
I give her the finger without turning around and slam the doors shut behind me.
When I get to my room, I head to the shower. Under the hot water, I fucking seethe.
I go back in my mind and recall all the times I now know Mackenzie has spent with the others. She had a whole night with Tino at the motel, just the two of them, and now Dom’s spent the night with her too. And those are only the times I know about. When else is she sneaking off with them and leaving me alone? Does she prefer Tino and Dom to me?
I’m hard and horny, but also raging with anger. It’s a head fuck. Add in the fear about my father, and I think I’m going to explode.
