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That was what connected us all together, me with the other guys. Our blinders had been forced off way too young and had become one of the things that bound us together.
“I wasn’t there for you when they tried to…” He swallowed. “When they tried to rape you. I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“No, you weren’t.”
He grimaced.
“But others were. I wasn’t alone. And you came after and you stayed with me. You were there when I needed you most. Not in the moment, but afterward, when I was left gutted and numb. You were there. That matters most.”
“Cadence.”
I squeezed his hand. “I want to be mad at you guys. I don’t approve of bullying and what you did was bully someone else. You hurt him. Your own teammate. And you did it for me, which leaves me feeling even worse. Like I’m causing something that shouldn’t be happening. He’s your teammate and a friend. I ruined that.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. He did when he decided to stop acting like a decent person. I don’t need people like him in my life. I refuse to have people like him in my life. Near my brother. Near my friends and family. Near you.”
I swallowed hard, blinking back tears.
Paxon sat up from his chair and turned to face me.
“I care about soccer and my teammates, but you didn’t ruin my relationship with them. Not all of them stood with Benji and he’s well practiced in pissing people off, especially these last couple of years.” Paxon’s smile was so sure and uplifting that it drew a smile from me too. “I also officially let my coach know I won’t be continuing soccer. Still need to let the team know, but I’m making strides in the direction I want to go.”
“Does telling your coach make it final?” I asked.
Paxon shrugged. “At least he’s aware so he knows not to pressure me into scholarships and he can intercept anyone wanting to meet me.”
“I bet you broke his heart.”
“Watch, next gym class, he’s going to make me run extra.”
“No doubt about it.”
We smiled at each other, some of the stress easing away the more we talked.
We settled back into our chairs and watched the sky. Exhaustion tugged at me, but every time I was about to doze off, something would wake me back up. Paxon would move or memories would come or a thought would flicker by.
It stayed like that until Seth came out to get us, deciding that we could help with breakfast if we were going to be up so early. Of course, that didn’t last long once Paxon found a bag of pumpkin candies.
“Cadence, wanna do a project with me?” He had the candy bag open and a bunch of toothpicks laid out.
“Sure. What are we doing?” I asked.
“Making a mess,” Seth grumbled as he scrambled eggs in a huge bowl.
“Well, we may have had that party last night, but today is officially Halloween,” Paxon said.
Seth glared at Paxon and went to say something, but then his gaze flickered to me and he closed it, going back to grumbling and stirring the huge bowl.
Paxon leaned close to me. “I think he’s mad at me.”
“Do you blame him?”
Paxon’s smile slipped away and he swallowed. “Maybe. But I don’t regret it. Do you hate me for it?”
“We already talked about this. I’m not mad,” I said. “Just confused.”
“Right. Well how about we distract you until you aren’t confused anymore.” He passed me the candy. “How high do you think we can build it?”
“Until it falls or until Toby comes and starts eating it?” I asked.
