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The deep breath I took tasted like cleaners and something else a bit bitter. It tasted heavy. I leaned against the wall and stared at the elevator doors. It’d be so easy to leave, to put more distance between me and Justin’s dad.
It’d be safer to do it.
But Justin needed me. And he’d never let anyone hurt me. I truly believed that. He was overprotective, and it’d been alluded to me that it was to a degree that could put him in an illegal situation. I saw hints of it with how much he watched over me, especially at school.
Justin would never let anything happen to me.
I repeated it over and over again, letting that belief settle my nerves.
Justin would keep me safe.
“Okay.” I pushed off the wall, checked the signs hanging there, and went to the reception area. After signing in and having the nurse confirm what Justin had already told me, I headed further down the hall, closer and closer to Justin and his dad.
Finally, I could hear soft voices as I approached a door partly opened. I had to pass by a window first so I paused and glanced inside. Justin was sitting in a chair, facing me as he looked down, talking to his dad with a closed off expression.
A man with black hair lay in the bed. For a moment, I became confused, trying to equate this thin, weak man to someone capable of taking life. His right arm was resting on top of the bed, tubes hooked up to it. It took me a moment to even realize it was an arm, his limb so scrawny, no muscle. Could he even lift his arm?
I went to his face. I couldn’t see it, only seeing dull black hair as his head was turned toward Justin. The man looked so small in the bed. It practically swallowed him whole.
This was the man who had given me anxiety just moments ago. The same man who killed his wife and nearly Justin too.
He wasn’t much of a man anymore. He looked like he was about to float away. A surreal moment hit me. It felt too much like I had worked up the monster under my bed to be something massive and vile, only to look and find a mouse instead.
Looking away from him, I focused on Justin, trying to figure out his mood.
He wasn’t giving too much away, sitting stiffly, jaw tight, hands in his lap. Something his dad said had him sitting up straight. He looked up and met my gaze. As soon as he saw me, I could clearly see something in him relax, as if a burden had already been lifted with my presence.
I didn’t move to go in, my feet planted to the floor. It didn’t look like a situation where I should have. So I stood in the hallway, just watching Justin, waiting for him. I was here for him, and I was making sure he knew I was here.
They talked for a few more minutes in low murmurs. It was hard to tell what they were saying. At least Justin seemed to be a bit more renewed. Eventually, he stood up, said something else to his dad, and came out.
Not once did I ever see him touch his dad.
Justin closed the door and then leaned against it, tilting his head up as he closed his eyes. All of him screamed out in anguish. He wasn’t crying, but he certainly looked like he wanted to. I went to his side and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze.
I wanted to convey so much to him, but at that moment all I could send his way were vibes to let him know that I was there for him.
Another minute of complete silence passed until he finally opened his eyes.
“Are you ready to leave?” I asked softly.
He nodded, swallowing hard.
I got it. Words were impossible for him at the moment. I’d been in that situation, where if I opened my mouth, all that would come out would be a scream. Where it felt like my throat was closing and I was choking. Justin was feeling a lot right now and I needed to let him feel.
Taking lead, I kept hold of his hand as I led him back to the elevators. I pressed the button, and when it opened, I pulled him onto it, hitting the button for the first floor.
The doors closed and he still didn’t say anything. Once the doors opened to the first floor, I pulled him through the reception area, and then through the doors and outside. I paused there and looked at Justin.
He just stood there, looking despondent. A little broken. I gave him that moment to feel the cold air. To let it sharpen his mind and wake him up from the nightmare that was dragging him down.
His chest expanded as he finally drew in a full breath, letting the air bite at his lungs. Only when he released it did I pull him with me to my car.
Still, he didn’t say anything when I started the car and drove us far, far away from that damn hospital and the man dying in it.
When I’d finally opened up to Justin about my past, it was at this small little spot by the river. I drove us there this time, knowing he needed more time to be lost in his head and this was his spot. He needed his spot.
Justin didn’t say anything as I came around and coaxed him out of the car. Nothing as I led the way to the river. And still nothing as I pushed him to the ground to sit and listen to the roaring water. We’d gotten enough rain this past week for the river to be flushed, current fast.
