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“Shit.”
I sighed. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
“You’ll see him for Thanksgiving, right?”
“Yeah.” Though I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. I always felt like I had to perform for them. I had to be good. On my best behavior. I had to be careful and mindful. It was exhausting. I loved Austin. He’s my baby brother.
But my parents were so cautious that it was stifling. And now Austin was working through a bad depression and I wasn’t sure how to get him out of it.
This wasn’t the kind of life he was supposed to live. The guilt came again as I thought about it. I wasn’t even with him when he got hurt and yet every time I thought about it, I felt guilty. Dr. Arason had tried to fight to get me to understand that the guilt was unfounded, but still.
I was his big brother. If he was suffering, I’d always feel guilty because I couldn’t take away that pain. Being around my family reminded me of how much of a failure I was as a big brother.
“Are we there yet?”
“Just down the road. We’re a little early. I think we beat the others. Want to get some food?”
I grinned. “Yes. Always. Is there any other answer?”
Bryan chuckled and pulled into the parking lot of a local cafe. I hummed, already looking forward to their breakfast options. Hopefully I could get an egg sandwich on a croissant. Those were my favorite.
Inside was fairly busy, so we hopped into line. I tried to patiently stay still, but once my stomach knew food was possible, it began to rumble.
“This weekend should be fun,” I said, unable to stay quiet for so long. I wanted to text Cadence, but I knew she was driving and Seth was always going on about texting each other when we knew someone was driving.
Bryan snorted. “What are you planning?”
“I’m not planning anything.”
“After what happened at Halloween, it’s hard to believe you.”
I held out my pink as if to pinky swear with him, but I knew he wouldn’t do that. “I promise I’m not planning anything. I’m just excited to spend the night at a hotel with everyone I love.” I smirked at him. “And Cadence.” I gave Bryan a big grin.
It was true though. I wanted to watch movies late into the night with her, eat meals with her, maybe talk her into going swimming if we had time. I had already checked, there was a pool where we were staying.
“We’ll be busy enough with Paxon’s schedule, and we’re here to support him,” Bryan reminded me.
“And we will. I’ll be one of the loudest in the stands, cheering him on.” I chuckled. “I still want to have fun though.”
And hopefully keep my mind off my parents and my little brother before I got sucked back into those dark memories.
Chapter Twelve
We barely made it in time for the game, and we were only able to find where to go because we met with Paxon’s dad, George. George was an older version of his sons. Grey eyes, dirty blond hair, and mischief in the lines of his expression. His face was carved from love and laughter, seen in the wrinkles by his eyes and how quickly he’s able to smile while looking at us. I quickly learned that George absolutely loved teasing his sons. He was also a therapist at my mother’s hospital.
“How are you doing?” he asked, giving me that warm smile that easily relaxed whoever saw it.
“Tired but excited,” I admitted. George was one of the few who when he asked how we were doing, didn’t want to hear that we were doing good when we weren’t. He didn’t ask it in passing, he was always genuinely asking.
“It’ll be a busy weekend.” George guided us toward the correct field. The bleachers were half-filled with people, the crowd light. As soon as we turned to face the bleachers, we saw the others already waiting.
“About time you made it,” Bryan called out, the first to spot us. “We thought you got lost.”
“Don’t worry, she only missed two turns,” Lillian said. She grabbed Micah’s arm. “You’re with us. Have fun.”
