AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Get some rest, Paxon.”
For some reason, his response wasn’t what I expected. “That’s all?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. About Benji? I have nothing to say. He’s someone I don’t want around Cadence. Or around any of you really. About Justin? Well, we’ll see where his head space is tomorrow. And about Cadence? I’m excited for this chance, but you need to decide for yourself. And if this isn’t what you want, then we need to work through that. But you need to figure it out first. I can twist your arm, make you try this with us, but I don’t want you resenting us down the line. This is all on you.”
Finally his facade cracked and I could see the sadness and worry that seemed to weigh him down in that moment. But I also saw something else too. An eagerness I never saw from him before. Hope.
“I already told her I’m in,” I said softly. When I said it at the moment, it felt so true. Very much what I wanted. But with time and distance from the moment, all the doubts were coming back. And that was the issue. When I was with her, I was okay. I got giddy with excitement. But when I was away from her, away from the situation, I began questioning everything.
“Yes, you did. And if you want out, it’s better to figure that out soon before it goes much further and feelings begin getting hurt in a way that won’t be recoverable. Or if you are truly in, then we have other stuff to talk about. Go sleep, Paxon. Rest up. You have to be exhausted and that only makes your thoughts worse.” He closed the door for me and headed back into the house.
I glanced back up at Cadence’s bedroom window before finally pulling away. Her light was off and there was no sign of her. I had to fight the urge to go back inside to see her.
Seth was right on one thing at least. Sleep was very much needed. My thoughts were becoming too muddled to work anything out.
Chapter Nineteen
The way the school seemed to celebrate, it was like they won the Olympics or something. I quickly got used to all the random chants echoing from classrooms and through hallways. By the time Tuesday came around, that excitement dulled for me, quickly becoming background noise as I got over it.
What I wasn’t over was how Justin was around, and yet he wasn’t. And when he was, it didn’t take him long to disappear.
Give him time.
Over and over, the others kept telling me that.
He just needs space.
If that was the case, then why did it feel so wrong? There was this thick wall between us, and I didn’t know what to do with it. And I was so scared that he’d stew for too long and then he’d drown.
He had attacked Benji. Hurt him. And now it was clear that it was eating him up inside. Rumors of the incident had spread by lunch on Monday, and it only got worse because Benji didn’t come to school. Then everyone really saw the damage when he walked in on Tuesday, feeding the rumors even more.
Justin never said anything about what happened. He hadn’t really said much of anything at all. He opted to stay to himself and go swimming every time he had a free moment. I was also pretty sure he was sneaking off to the pool during the study hall periods. Acting like that couldn’t be healthy. It just couldn’t. And how long would he last?
By the end of Tuesday, I was confused and ready to hunt him down, but I had to take off to meet with Dr. Arason for our weekly appointment. Feeling defeated once again after being completely ignored by Justin after study hall at the end of the day, I headed out. Maybe Dr. Arason could help me figure out what to do. I hoped. Justin had looked absolutely exhausted all day.
As soon as I sat down in front of my therapist, she knew it wasn’t going to be a good session. She patiently sat across from me in her own chair, her graying blond hair pulled into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder.
Briefly, I wondered about grandmothers. I’d never met mine and I was pretty sure they were all dead too. I knew Lindie’s parents were gone. I wasn’t quite sure about Dad’s. Yet, looking at Dr. Arason, curiosity filled me.
“Want to tell me what happened to cause the bruising on your cheek?” she asked softly, knowing I wasn’t going to start talking on my own.
“Someone fell on top of me and accidentally hit me when he was getting up,” I said. “Not a big deal.”
“So not related to why you’re upset right now?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Would you like to say it?”
I sighed and glanced around the medium-sized office. It was clean, everything in its rightful place. A huge window stretched across one wall, blinds currently closed for privacy. Her large bookshelves were filled with thick books, all organized neatly. Her degrees hung nicely over a large filing cabinet. There were some plants around the space, simple artwork. It was a good space, perfect for therapy sessions.
“Cadence?”
I swallowed hard. “Justin got into a fight on Sunday. It kind of led to me being bruised.”
“Did he hit you?”
“No!” I shook my head furiously. “I already told you how I got the bruise. He never touched me. He beat up another student who was being aggressive and provocative with me.”
