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Paxon shrugged. “I don’t know if that’s what they call it now, but they definitely like to pretend it’s gross.”
“Are you sure it’s pretending?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. If I never did it, he’d be sad. Trust me, I tested it out.”
“Really? Is that common? Siblings pretending to not like something?”
Paxon mulled over my question. “I can’t say for sure. All I know is that I want Calvin to laugh, so I’ll do the things that make it so he can. I think maybe as long as people have those kinds of thoughts, then maybe it is common?”
My cheeks hurt with how hard I was smiling. “You really are a good brother.”
His cheeks redden as he sat back down.
“Will you tell me more things about you and Cal?” I asked.
“Like what?”
I shrugged. “Anything. I’m an only child, so I’m curious.”
While we waited for the receptionist to make the changes to the signup for me, Paxon was more than happy to talk about his relationship with his little brother. Hearing about how much Paxon doted on Calvin and got into trouble together was heartwarming and adorable. I couldn’t stop smiling.
Chapter Twenty
My plan of attack was supposed to be for today. It was easy, I was going to corner him, and make him tell me what he was thinking about so much. Should have been easy. Especially since today was a day off because it was Veterans Day, and all I had to do was go over to his place.
Toby said they had to help around the house so no one should be going anywhere.
Yet, it was like Justin knew.
Toby: Justin left early this morning. I don’t know where he is.
I stared at the text to the group. And then all the responses after that, my anxiety spiking. Even if Justin was going through a lot, he was still responsible. He had never been one to skip out on his promises. At least until now.
The panic crawled through me the more the guys texted.
He wasn’t at home with Toby.
He definitely wasn’t at Seth’s with me.
Bryan had no idea.
Neither did Paxon.
He wasn’t at the hospital with his dad. I had called to ask.
I bit my lip and sent Justin another message. One of many, really. But not only was I worried, but so were the guys. It was clear. We were going on and on about where he was in a group chat that he was part of, and still radio silence.
Me: Please, just a quick check-in. Are you okay?
Silence.
Pacing Seth’s living room instead of working like I should, I tried to figure out where he’d go. I was supposed to be working on some songs for Ardens before our meeting after Thanksgiving. Instead, I was too distracted. Was Justin at that spot by the river? Driving around in a vehicle we don’t know about?
Justin had disappeared. The biggest fear that I’d always lived with. The one I spent all of Tuesday talking to Dr. Arason about, making it even more fresh in my mind.
Justin was seventeen. He could take care of himself. I knew that logically. But so many thoughts were playing with me emotionally that I was having trouble holding on to that logic. Every time I tried, I only found panic.
I knew what it was like for people to disappear. How easy it was. And Justin hadn’t been right all week. He was supposed to be at his house with Toby. They were going to help Laura with cleaning out the basement. Justin wouldn’t have forgotten that.
