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Bebe whined, sick of seeing me pace around Seth’s living room.
“You’re right,” I said. “I need to go find him.”
Bebe whined again. I leaned over and petted him briefly. Bebe pressed against me, his anxiety clear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his fur, taking in a deep breath. He smelled like outside to me. Grass and fresh air, with the underlining smell of dog. It was normally comforting, but did nothing to help me now.
“It’ll be fine,” I whispered, wishing I believed the words. “I’ll go find him.”
I grabbed my keys and practically ran to my car, the panic now all I felt. It consumed me. Devoured me. Laughed at me. I was losing to it and it knew it. But the only thing that was going to stop it at this point was me having direct line of sight of Justin and knowing he was okay.
So I drove to the spot by the river. My hope dwindled when I didn’t see any vehicles around. After making the small hike there, all hope disappeared.
He wasn’t there.
Bryan, Toby, and Paxon verified that he shouldn’t have access to a car. All vehicles were accounted for. He wasn’t driving around. Yet, he was still gone.
I went to the gym where he took self-defense classes. Not there either.
With no idea where to go, I began to just drive. The longer I drove, the closer the needle on my tank gauge approached empty, and still no Justin. I drove slowly, checking ditches, sidewalks, faces. If I saw a mop of black hair, I nearly pulled to a stop to see their face, already knowing it wasn’t Justin. And yet still, I checked.
The rest of my afternoon disappeared. The cloudy sky grew darker, and still no Justin. Night was just around the corner. This was a long time to be gone without a word to anyone.
Toby: The asshole is back. Laura is pissed.
I read it again. And again. Slowly my brain processed what Toby was saying. Something cold and bitter filled me. Curling my hands tighter on the steering wheel, I made a sharp turn on the empty small back road that I was on. I didn’t even respond as I nearly broke the speed limit to reach Laura’s house. I pulled up next to Laura’s car and jumped out, running to the front door and knocking a little too harshly.
Toby answered, eyes widening when he saw me. He looked like he wanted to say something but my expression kept him silent. At that point, I didn’t even know what I was feeling. I just felt cold. Heavy.
Without saying anything to him, I entered, looking around the space. I hadn’t been in Laura’s house before. It was cozy and warm as I stepped directly into the living room. There was a hallway straight ahead.
Toby pointed that way and that was all I needed. I headed down there, breathing heavily, feeling like I was choking.
Passed the bathroom.
Peeked into one room and saw a messy empty bedroom. Guitar on the bed. Must be Toby’s.
Passed a closed door and opened it to a large walk-in closet with a washer and dryer.
A door was cracked open. I pushed it open to see Justin. Stretched out on his bed, eyes closed, chest rising up and down slowly. His hair looked wet and his room was pretty clean except for the dark blue towel on his floor.
“I told you to leave me alone,” he grumbled.
I blew out a breath, letting his voice assure me. I bit back a sob, too many emotions bubbling up now that I was in the direct line of sight of him. Why was this hitting me so hard? He was okay. Of course, he’d be okay. All logic said he’d be okay, that he wouldn’t disappear.
“Toby is right,” I said.
Justin’s eyes snapped open and he sat up, eyes widening. His phone dropped to the floor, and I stared at it. The screen even lit up to his lock screen.
“You are an asshole.”
“Cadence.” He scrambled to his feet.
I shook my head. “Glad to see you alive. I’ll leave you alone.”
“Wait.”
I didn’t. I had been waiting all day. I just needed a simple text to prove he was alive and well. That was all I’d needed. I hadn’t even known I needed it until I was at the gas station, filling my car with more gas and still not hearing back from him. As my phone blew up with more texts from the guys wondering where he went. If he had replied even once, I wouldn’t have been on a rollercoaster all day. Just one text.
I turned, barely giving a shocked Toby a glance and went back outside. Justin came outside too slow. I was already pulling out of the driveway, unable to care at the moment. Too much caring happened, and now I was just numb to it. Still a bit cold.
