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I leaned over and turned on the heat, hoping to drive away some of the chill that seemed to settle into every nook and cranny of my body.
My phone buzzed and I knew it was Justin. Feeling petty, I ignored it, even when I got back home. Seth’s truck was in his driveway, so I went to my place instead. After downing some medicine to help with the growing back pain, I went to my studio and worked the evening away.
The others checked in with me. I at least responded to them, still deciding to ignore Justin. There was just so much anger and whenever he texted me, I itched to throw my cell phone.
It was late at night, past when I should have probably crawled into bed already. Slowly, I wandered around the house and locked up, making sure I had everything before heading over to Seth’s. I was even almost tempted to just sleep in my own bed. But at the moment, I needed the reassurance of someone else in the house with me so that I didn’t feel so alone.
When I left my house, I nearly tripped over Justin.
“What the hell?” I asked, barely stopping myself from falling over him. I glowered. “Why are you here?”
“To talk,” he said.
“To talk?” I frowned. Laura’s car was in my driveway. I hadn’t noticed at all. How long had he been waiting here while I ignored him? “You didn’t want to talk all day. Now you want to? You couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
“No.”
I turned and locked my door and began walking over to Seth’s. Justin joined me. I crossed my arms over my chest, cursing myself for not grabbing a jacket. Nights were getting too cold.
“Talk then,” I said. “Because I’m only giving you until I get to Seth’s house.”
“You’re mad.”
I snorted. “You’re a genius.” I couldn’t hold back anymore and turned to him. He abruptly stopped before he bumped into me. I glared extra hard to make sure he could see how pissed off I was past the shadows of the streetlights. “I’m furious, Justin. I may not know how to be a girlfriend. It’s all new to me. But I do know that it takes a second to text someone back. That was all you needed to do. We were messaging you for hours. I was driving all over the place for hours. Everyone was worried about you all day. You should have taken two seconds to say you’re all right. That was all we needed to hear. Instead, I wasted my whole day checking ditches only for you to go back home like you didn’t do anything wrong. So I’m going to be pissed, and I’m telling you that right now, you need to back off. You want space.” I waved my hand at him. “It’s yours. Let me know when you’re done with your space. But I’m not going to worry my ass off like today. You disappeared. You left. No word. Nothing. Do what you need to do. Figure it out. When you decide we’re good enough for you, we’ll be here.”
I turned on my heels and stalked away. The edge of my anger had dulled while I worked, but as I poured out all my fear out to Justin, it sharpened again. Taking in a shuddering breath, I shoved my hands into my jean pockets to hide how much they shook.
He had truly scared me. Truly made me wonder if he was going to come back. People left. And they didn’t always return.
Chapter Twenty-One
~Justin’s POV~
People were chanting while I waited in line at the concession stand with Toby on Sunday. The distance to the bleachers at least allowed me to still hear as we waited for our drinks and snacks. I rubbed at my face, sleep pulling at me as my sore exhausted body ached with every movement I made.
I’d gone hard this past week. Swam every chance I got. And after fucking up as hard as I did on Thursday, I went even harder. I kept seeing Cadence’s furious expression when she stood in my bedroom doorway. That morning I couldn’t sleep, so I took an old bike and snuck into the school’s pool and spent the day there, needing to empty out my head. I didn’t even notice the time passing. Then I saw all the texts.
But it was already too late. Everyone was pissed.
Cadence especially.
Guilt gnawed at me. I tried to wrack my brain for a moment this past week where I held an actual conversation with anyone.
I hadn’t.
I’d wake up early, swim. Go to my classes. Swim after school until I got kicked out. Saw my dad and watched him slowly die then passed out at home in a restless sleep. And repeated it the next day. The days were starting to blur a little bit.
Even now, we were at half-time at Paxon’s state championship, and I couldn’t even remember a single moment of the game.
“Hey!” Toby elbowed my side.
“What?” I grumbled.
“Wake up and help me carry this shit.” His arms were already full of drinks.
I took half the load and followed behind him, but then Toby paused and turned to me, his impatient eyes glowering at me.
“How much longer?” he asked.
