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I sighed, cuddling into him, appreciating feeling him behind me with his arms around me. I felt warm, safe, and completely comfortable. Something I hadn’t felt in too long.
“Hit play,” he whispered against my ear.
Suppressing a shiver, I leaned forward and did as he said. The movie started and I got comfortable.
With Seth at my back and the simple Hallmark movie to watch, it wasn’t long until I went into a food coma and fell asleep.
Perfect date. Perfect night.
Best happily ever after ending.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Seth had left on Monday to fly out and stay with his parents. While he kept texting and even called Monday night, I felt the loss. Even Bryan had been busy dealing with his own family and for the last two days, I’d been pretty much on my own.
I should have loved it, but I hated it. The guys had gotten me used to having someone always around me. Monday, I didn’t even know what to do since Seth’s house was empty and I felt awkward staying there. So after taking care of Bebe, I actually stayed at my own house for the first time in forever.
It was nerve wracking and left me tired Tuesday morning. We were finally going to perform our songs live this afternoon. I was personally fine, but Toby wasn’t. All morning, he was a bundle of nerves in the cafeteria. It was even raining outside, not helping at all, giving the whole day ‘an overcast of doom and gloom.’ Toby’s description, not mine.
Toby accidentally kicked me for the second time, and I glared at him.
“Sorry.” He sheepishly looked down at his bowl of cereal.
“Do we need to go over how to prep for your performance?” I asked.
“No. No, I’m fine. I haven’t eaten any candy. No coffee. Only water and boring food.”
“Are you really okay?” I asked, now growing worried. Toby had to be used to singing in front of crowds at this point. Our other classes with Mrs. Odera forced us to get used to the idea that we’d perform a lot.
She had said it first in my sophomore class: music could only be properly graded once performed. The lyrics, the music, it all had to be felt, and the only way to do that was to perform. So we had to prepare ourselves. And then she had really put us to the test over the last few years.
This year especially.
“You’re going before me, right?” Toby asked.
“According to the schedule,” I said. My performance was going to be early on while Toby’s was closer to the end of the concert. About half our class was going to be performing, sprinkled in with the other students doing their thing. The concert was going to take up the rest of the afternoon.
“I can’t wait. You’re going to be amazing. You’re amazing at everything.”
“Not with heavy metal,” I admitted. “I had to get creative to piece it together to make something cohesive. I messed up so many times.”
“Naw, I know you were flawless,” he said, his tone too sincere.
I frowned, not liking the uneasy feeling his compliment gave me. “Toby. I’m far from perfect. Please don’t say that to me,” I responded, my voice filled with a mixture of vulnerability and sincerity.
He may have said that with well-intentions, but the words were too close to what I had tried for so long to hear from Lindie. I had always sought perfection because being flawless meant Lindie didn’t hurt me. So when Toby said that, I felt the pressure instantly, and I wasn’t prepared.
I wanted him not to see me as flawless but as who I was—imperfect and real. Not some music goddess.
My point got across and his smile disappeared. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured.”
I shook my head. “I know.” Blowing out a breath, I leaned back a little and opted to shift the conversation elsewhere. “I’m just a little nervous too. It’s a hard song for me to sing. I just want to be done with it. I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to sing it all in one go.”
“You will. When it comes down to the moment, you always do what you need to do to give everyone the best experience. As long as you go up there and give it your all, everyone will hear it and love it.”
I smiled softly at that compliment as the bundle of nerves settled into a comfortable sense of confidence. That compliment felt more solid to me. Something I could achieve, even if there were mistakes. “Thank you.”
“You’ll blow them away while screaming your lungs out, and I’ll do the same with my amazing rap song.”
