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I gave him a tight smile. “It’s quite alright.”
“Alright?” He shook his head. “I was out of line. I embarrassed myself and put the movie in jeopardy and by extension, all the people who worked on it. I know I can’t take it back, but I truly, sincerely apologize.”
“Missy left notes but if you just say what you just said to me, you’ll be good to go.” I held out the folder, just wanting to send him on his way, but I could tell from the way he shifted his weight that he was holding on to something else. I couldn’t stand the way he was looking at me, especially when I thought about that kiss. I didn’t trust my voice to not shatter into tiny little pieces so I pleaded with my eyes. Just take the folder and go.
“There’s something else.” He didn’t see my request or chose to ignore it. “I want to apologize to you most of all, Leila.”
“That’s alright.” God, it was like that was the only word in my vocabulary. “Really.”
He rubbed his chin, drawing my gaze to his mouth. I turned away from him, going to the file cabinet and shuffling through the folders, trying to give off the appearance of being busy and mask the fact that I was fighting to keep my emotions at bay.
“Don’t worry about it. Water under the bridge.” My stomach flipped and flopped as I heard him move and it was definitely not the way he came. “I really have a lot to take care of here.”
“About the kiss--“
I slammed the drawer closed with a bang. “Just let it go, Cade. You were drunk, you kissed me for like five seconds and then it was over. It’s not a big deal.” Oh but it was. It was a huge deal. Why else would I be dialed up to a hundred?
“If I could just explain, Leila.”
Goosebumps raced over my skin as he put a hand on my shoulder and I lunged away, almost tumbling over my chair in an effort to get away.
“You don’t get to touch me. Not after what you did.” I stared him up and down. “You’re sorry—duly noted. I don’t need you to say anything more than that. I don’t care about your explanation. I just want you to leave.”
“But I—“
“Are you deaf?!” I shrieked, my cool, my sanity slipping right through my fingers. “Maybe you’re used to ignoring everyone’s feelings but your own. Kissing who you want. Fucking who you want. But I said that this conversation is done. Over. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. I’m not your wife!”
He reared back like the smack I’d attempted last night finally landed and blew him away. He’d gone too far when he pressed his mouth against mine, but I’d just bested him. Using her name as a dagger, sinking it deep in his chest, was lower than low.
I’d gone too far.
The cool he’d exuded melted as sweat exploded at his temple, shooting past bulging veins. His green eyes were flints of ivy as his nostrils flared. He edged closer and panic gripped me tight, pinning me in the corner. My back was pressed against the file cabinet and I realized that maybe there was something to those rumors about his temper. There was no alcohol in my system to screen any of this. This was pure, unfiltered Cade…and I didn’t know whether he was going to explode and knock me out flat.
I put up my fists. I didn’t stand a chance, but at least I’d go down swinging.
He ground to a halt, all the color draining from his face. “You don’t think—“ The anger in his eyes became something else…shame. “Oh God. Leila I would never…” His voice was pinched and painful. “I would never, ever hurt you. You have to know that.”
I relaxed my fists, but I still held them out, creating a barrier. “I’m not so sure, Cade. I don’t think I know you.” I dropped my hands to my side, but I wasn’t done. “You’re smiling, you’re charismatic, then you’re depressed and a hack. You’re a sage, telling me about the pitfalls of fame and then you court it by snapping up photographs. You lose your shit at the studio in true rock star fashion then tell me you miss simpler times. It’s confusing, Cade. And I don’t want any part of it.” I took a breath. “I’m not sure why you chose me, but un-choose me. I can’t bear anymore of this.”
He moved to the door, his face hooded and unreadable.
Before he could turn the doorknob I added, “And I’m off your case. We have no reason to communicate. Ever.”
He glanced back at me. “You’re right. You don’t know me. I can tell you that I can be an asshole. I can be a guy that no one wants to know. But I’m certain of one thing--you make me want to be better.”
He left without another word, dropping the bomb. Leaving me to deal with the confusing fallout.
I knew Jacob was in a meeting, but a glance at my watch told me he should be back. I was glad that Natasha wasn't at her desk, because I knew my run in with Cade would have been all over my face.
His door was open and the office unoccupied but I stepped inside, hoping that just being in Jacob's space would help me calm down.
Standing up did me no favors so I sunk into the chair in the lounge area. I dropped my hands off the side, running my fingers along the fibers of the rug until something sharp cut into my finger.
I brought the finger to my mouth, the grating sting obviously a paper cut. I searched for the culprit, thinking maybe a document fell from a folder, but there was only a single, white envelope.
I brought it up to the light, my heart jumping in my chest when I saw it was addressed to Alicia Whitmore.
Jacob's mother.
