AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Probably not,” I replied.
“And let me guess. You’re all holed up in your beachfront mansion acting like someone kicked your cat? Am I right?”
“No, I’m not,” I argued.
“Cole?” she asked. “This is me, you fool. I’ve been here with you before. Have you called and asked him about his feelings?”
“Not exactly,” I admitted.
“Because?”
I didn’t have an answer to her question that would make sense. Because I was immature when it came to love? Because I was convinced that after Alan no one would want a gay man nearing forty? Because I knew I loved Chad and the thought that I could lose another love was too painful to confront?
“I’m afraid to,” I whispered.
Marla knew me so well. The moment my tone changed, Her’s did the same. “Chad is not Alan. And even if he was, you need an answer,” she consoled.
“What if he goes back to his ex?”
“Then you try again, honey,” she said softly. “You try again,” she repeated.
“But I don’t want to try again,” I stated. “I want him.”
“Then hang up with me and call him, Cole. Tell him exactly that.”
“I could go over and tell him,” I said.
“Even better, baby. Do that. I like that idea a lot. So will Chad.”
“Why do you put up with me, Marla?” I asked. “I’m such a drain on people.”
“Because you are worth it, Cole,” she said. “Listen to me closely. You. Are. Worth. It.”
We hung up, and I sat in the quiet for a few minutes before I made my way to the huge sliding glass doors and pushed the button for the shades to retract. The amazing sight began to come into view as the blinds lifted, revealing that the world had not, in fact, disappeared. The waves still rolled to shore, the sea birds still glided above them, and I was still alive to bear witness.
I had a boy to visit.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE: Chad
As much as I hated facing life at the moment, I crawled out of bed, managed a shower, and threw on some shorts. Just because I’d uncharacteristically acted like an out-of-control idiot, there was no excuse to hide away. Time to face the music.
Mom smiled when I entered the kitchen, my need for coffee at emergency levels. “Good afternoon, honey.”
“I hope so,” I replied. “Is he still here?” I asked, referring to Clint.
Mom motioned to the guest house, so I walked to the slider to verify. Clint was below the main floor deck of the house, on the pool deck, sitting in a chair facing the ocean, his back to me.
“How long?” I asked.
“All morning,” she confirmed. “He wouldn’t come inside when I offered him lunch,” she added.
I stared at the back of Clint’s head, sorrow enveloping my heart when I thought of my behavior at the food truck. I could only imagine what my peers at the food truck park were thinking about me after that bizarre shit show.
“I feel so bad, Mom. What a mess I’ve made.”
“I’m sure you feel awful, son, but Clint created the opportunity by showing up announced. Dad and I never should have told him where you were. I’m sorry for that.”
I sat on the couch, elbows on my knees, chin resting in my hands, staring at the floor. I’d had the night to dwell on my response to his visit, and the results of that study only fortified how off the handle I’d been. It is true. I was angry. Very angry. He’d said he couldn’t live life with a man at his side. He couldn’t live as a couple. He couldn’t stay with me. All the news written in a note.
