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“We’re worried, son,” she began. “Naturally, we trust you, of course, but a lot has happened to you in three short years. David’s death, meeting Clint, his recovery, you two falling in love, him leaving you suddenly, you meeting Cole. The list of events seems daunting to us, honey. That’s all it is.”
“So,” I began. “What I’m hearing is that you two are afraid that I’m jumping right back into another situation. Is that what I’m hearing you say?”
Mom fussed with her hands, placing them in her lap as she studied my reaction. “And now you’re upset with me, right?”
“Not in the least,” I replied. And I wasn’t. “I wondered the same thing, to be honest. But I was nineteen when I met David. We weren’t that serious yet,” I argued. “Of course, I loved him, but I was a kid. And as for Clint, well, to be truthful, I was drawn to him needing me. I wanted to fix his injuries, and I wanted to give him love,” I tried to explain. “And yes, I loved him too. I was a hundred percent invested in him, but he was the one to walk away, not me.”
“True. All good points,” she agreed.
“Thank you,” I said. “But Cole is a different situation, and this is going to sound a bit odd, but I’ll try to explain why.”
I turned toward the window and the ocean beyond, always a source of strength for me. I wanted my parents to understand how I’d arrived at my decision regarding Cole. Trust me, I had wondered why him, why now. Why did he arrive literally in my backyard? His arrival had to be a sign.
“You know how I look to the universe for signs, right?” I asked. Mom nodded. “I put a lot of stock in my interpretation of my surroundings, and often seek guidance from non-traditional sources.” I made sure she was watching and listening closely. “But, for whatever reason, I’ve received zero input from anywhere, Mom. Not even Jack has said a peep about me and Cole.”
She nodded. “I know you believe that, Chad. And Jack and Cole were best friends, isn’t that correct?”
“It is,” I agreed. “And I used to get messages from Jack all the time. Perhaps you don’t see a connection or a coincidence, but I think his lack of guidance is the actual message itself.”
Mom smiled as my statement set up shop in her mind. I knew she knew what I meant without her voicing it, but she did anyway. “This was about you deciding.”
I nodded. “This is me deciding, Mom. And this is me trusting my heart. David died. Clint left for his own reasons. But Cole came here on his own. Or did he?” I asked, raising my eyebrows and sounding spooky. “But, whatever. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t? The important thing for me is that I have decided to love him. Independent of hunches, or signs, or even Jack. And the reason is that I believe he is a wonderful man. A man worth loving.”
Tears fell from my mother’s beautiful eyes. She understood my reasoning and my decision-making process. The decision to believe in Cole and his love for me came when he’d decided to trust me when I said I was over Clint. Despite his being devastated after being left for another man, he chose to trust in me when he could have been filled with doubt.
Clint, unlike Cole’s ex, Alan, came back for me, wanted me back, and I had totally freaked out. Who wouldn’t think my actions proved that I still carried a torch for Clint? And without much info for Cole to go on other than me stating that I would not get back with Clint, and with him being as insecure in himself after losing a love he valued, he still chose to believe in me.
“I don’t need a sign from beyond, Mom. I have a big, fat, sky-writing plane sign right in front of me. His name is Cole Hicks. I trust in love, in my ability to love, to be loved, and am willing to try again. If there was a sign or a hunch anywhere to be seen, Cole’s arrival here has convinced me,” I explained. “And if that’s not enough, there is his kind nature, his heart, his commitment to the values of love. All of those qualities, plus so many more that you and Dad will discover, convinced me to try again.”
Mom glanced behind me and I turned around to find my father had been listening. He swiped at his eyes and looked toward Mom. “I told you he’d be fine,” Dad said, his voice catching with emotion.
She rolled her eyes at his half-hearted joke as she too wiped away tears of what I assumed had to be relief. “We’re proud of you, son. Very proud of you,” she whispered, holding back crying.
“I’ll be okay, you two,” I said, looking from her to Dad. “I am okay,” I added.
Dad pointed at the Christmas tree that we’d done absolutely nothing to. “I expected better decorations,” he quipped, turning on his heels and heading back to his office. “I told you our son was fine, Maggie,” he singsonged over his shoulder.
“Can I live with you and Cole at your house?” she joked. “That man is going to be the death of me.”
“I love you, Mom,” I whispered. “I’m doing well because of you two always being there for me.”
“And he’s the one?” she asked, meaning Cole, I assumed.
“He is.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX: Cole
Marla was grinning from ear to ear as she studied me. I took another sip of wine, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny. “For Christ’s sake, girl. What?”
She gestured wildly with her hands, motioning them toward me from across the table. “I remember this man!” she exclaimed. “Definitely been a minute, but I think he’s back.”
I smiled at her. I knew what she meant, but I felt like giving her some well-deserved shit. “You’re right. My trip was quite successful,” I stated. “Big contract, big bucks.”
“Bullshit!” she huffed, rolling her eyes dramatically, her favorite thing when she caught me hiding something from her. “The reason for your happiness doesn’t give a shit about money and you know it.”
“But I still do,” I corrected. “Well, a tiny bit still.”
“You’re valuing something more than money lately, babycakes. Welcome back to the living, by the way.”
