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“Dude,” he complains, spinning around.
“I’m not your dude,” I call.
“My husband is mean,” he shouts from the bedroom.
I laugh before clearing my throat. Don’t get attached, I remind myself firmly.
Less than a minute later, there’s a yelp of happy surprise. Kipp reappears at the end of the hall, eyes wide.
“Holy shit,” he says. “What is this?”
He waves the massive dildo my way, as if I couldn’t see it.
“You went through my nightstand?” I ask, amused despite myself.
He waves me off. “I’m your husband. I’m allowed. Do you use this?”
“What do you think?”
He presses a button on the base of the dildo, jolting when it starts to move. “Teddy,” he says in awe, flicking the part at the bottom that stimulates the perineum. “Can you give me a demonstration?”
I raise a brow. “Sure,” I say evenly. “Drop your pants and bend over.”
He blinks at me. “What?”
My grin is all wolf. “I never said I use it on myself.”
He visibly gulps, looking down at the dildo, contemplating, if I had to guess, whether or not he actually wants said demonstration. It’s a huge toy. Not at all for the faint of heart.
“Do you…have something smaller?” he finally asks, carefully turning the dildo off like it might bite him. “You know, something a little less likely to eviscerate me?”
My lips twitch. “Put it back in the drawer, Kipp.”
“Teddy, nooo,” he whines, coming to the edge of the kitchen and holding the dildo between his flattened palms. The tip hits his chin. “Please. Fuck me with the Dildo of Death. I beg of you.”
“Not happening.”
“I can take it.” He eyes it again dubiously. “I think.”
I point down the hall. “Drawer.”
Kipp curses, wheeling around and heading toward the bedroom. “Worst husband ever!”
“Love you,” I yell after him.
His laugh has me grinning from ear to ear.
Shit. I’m in so much trouble.
Chapter 4
Kipp
Teddy cooks us dinner. Like, a whole meal. There’s chicken breasts, sauteed vegetables in some sort of brown sauce, and rice.
“I take it back,” I moan. “Best husband ever.”
Teddy snorts, something he’s been doing a lot of, like he’s trying hard not to laugh outright. But he’s smiling again, and that makes me feel a lot better, despite the whole invading his house and his life thing.
