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“Sorry,” I repeated, rubbing my eyes as a sudden headache throbbed in the back of my head. “I should probably go.”
“You just got here,” she pointed out, but her walls were rising. Fuck. I was hurting her, but she refused to see why this was important to me.
“I know, I know. But he’s all alone.” I tried to make her see it. Could I have suggested that all three of us hang out? It would have solved a lot, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want her making a snide comment with double meaning. Nobody knew how sensitive Sebastian was. And he never showed it to people, either. I was the only one, so it was my responsibility to keep him out of such situations.
My heart clenched in my chest. It hurt as I thought about Sebastian all alone.
I shouldn’t have listened to him. There were times when I knew better what was good for him. And there had been times when he had done the same. After my mom had left, Sebastian knew how to read the room. He knew my dad’s moods better than any adult, and he had silently and deliberately dragged me to his place for days on end, sparing me the trouble and giving my dad the peace he needed to process his own feelings.
“You’re seriously going to leave five minutes after coming because your teammate is sad,” Courtney stated.
She’d meant it precisely the way she had said it. Her use of the word was supposed to make him seem like less than what he was to me. But teammates were like brothers in our house. We were a unit. If Sawyer had done anything when he’d tackled Grayson in front of thousands upon thousands of people, he had proved that we were there for each other.
Even so, Sebastian was more than a teammate to me. “I am,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I have to.” I tried to make her see that I was honest, but the truth was, I was starting to get annoyed.
“You’re kidding,” Courtney huffed. “You know what? Fine. But next time, don’t bother coming at all.”
“Court…” I cocked my head pleadingly to one side, then decided to deal with this later. I shot to my feet, anger and guilt battled for dominance in me, and stalked away. I lifted my jacket and walked out of her apartment without another word.
As I descended the stairs, I began to type another apology but decided against it. There was nothing more to say to her that I hadn’t said already. If she couldn’t sacrifice just a little bit of her comfort for other people that mattered to me, then it was not my problem.
I had to run to catch my bus, then speed-walk as the temperature dropped on my way to the team house. There, the house was mostly deserted. Sawyer had already moved away last semester and the other guys were probably out. There was a frat party down the street, so I assumed most of my teammates were there. If I thought dragging Sebastian into a big crowd would do him any good, I would have done just that. But I knew better.
As I passed through the kitchen, I lifted a six-pack from the back of the fridge and carried it with me to our room.
The door was unlocked when I gently twisted the knob, so I pushed forward and found my friend sprawling on the bed, facing away from me.
“Ty?” he said in a quiet, sleepy voice.
“Did I wake you up?” I asked.
“Wasn’t sleeping,” he said. “You were supposed to be out.”
I shut the door and went around the room to turn on the lamps. “I bring gifts,” I announced as I set the six-pack on the floor and folded my legs under my ass.
Sebastian slowly lifted his head and turned to face me. “I thought you were seeing Courtney.”
I sighed. “I was. I did. She’s fine. Now, let’s celebrate the first day of new opportunities for you.” I tried to smile, but even I heard how lame that was.
My best friend listened, though. He got up and then sat in front of me on the floor. We had sat like this countless times in his attic or Dad’s garage after he was done assembling the train set for the day.
I scanned Sebastian’s face as he reached for the can. His darker complexion and black hair that matched his impressive eyebrows and dark brown eyes made him the most attractive guy on campus. There was no mistaking it. Even I could tell he was a hot piece. He wouldn’t have a problem catching another girl’s attention.
A feeling I didn’t know what to call appeared in me. It surfaced abruptly. Something about it made me think I was afraid. Of what? I had no idea. But the thought of Sebastian nosediving into another relationship made me want to squirm.
We cracked our cans open and took a long sip each. Sebastian managed a little smile. “Now you caught me.”
“I kinda knew already,” I said. I wasn’t bragging.
He shook his head. “Sometimes, I wish you didn’t know me so well.”
I laughed at that. “That’s my cross to bear, dude. I knew you’d go to bed. And if I let you be alone for however long you wanted, you’d just watch your life go by.”
He was quiet for a time. As he breathed, his broad, round shoulders lifted and fell. Even slouching, his pecs were defined and hugged tightly by the T-shirt he wore. When he spoke, he was hesitant. “I’m so sick of dating.”
I said nothing.
My silence prompted him to continue. “For real. Every time I fall for someone, they just reveal a new flaw in me.”
