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I told her…
“Marry him.”
And turned on my heel and walked away, entering the back door, my footsteps echoing through the empty room of the stone church. I pushed the priest’s hanging garments out of my way, my path a blur.
I left her without looking back. I couldn’t. My heart would tear in two in my chest.
Now, the wood of the pew creaks as I adjust my weight, tugging even harder on the collar that now threatens to choke me. Is it a million degrees in here? I lean forward, looking anywhere but the altar where she stands with him.
Father’s loud voice booms through the echoey stone church, warning us, “Marriage is a binding covenant and is not to be taken lightly but with reverence and holy faithfulness.”
I’ve never failed a mission. This one was to safely bring her here. To her groom. To marry her off to someone else.
But I love you…what do I do?
Marry him.
But I’ve failed her. I drop my head, catching it in my hands, and stare at the tops of my black shoes. Ones I had polished for this event. The gold cuff links catch my eye, the swirling B. A gift the day I joined the family.
Everything I do is for the family. I owe them everything. I close my eyes tight, wanting to hold my hands over my ears, but even that wouldn’t stop me from hanging onto the priest’s every word as he tells us, “The bond of marriage was established by God during the Creation,” continuing on from there, speaking of faithfulness and?—
If I don’t stop this…
If I don’t tell her how I really feel…
It’ll be too late.
But the family.
There will be no peace for me to hold. Because without her, there is no peace in my soul. She’s my everything and now she stands on that altar, staring straight into the eyes of another man.
The pounding of my heart echoes in my ears, the sound of blood rushing through my veins is deafening, and my breaths come out in short, shallow gasps.
I keep my ears pricked to the priest’s words.
My loyalty to the family. My love for her. The two thoughts tear at the two pieces of my heart.
Father Thomas is closing in on my one final opportunity. My own breath holds in my chest so hard it feels as if my lungs will burst. I feel it before I hear it. Father Thomas takes a big breath, gazing out over the crowd with knitted brow.
His gaze scans the crowd.
Landing right on me.
His blue eyes hold mine as he says, “I ask that if anyone here can show just cause why they should not be lawfully married in the presence of God today, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”
And I stand.
thirty
Savage
“She can’t marry him,” I say.
I’m not sure if I said it loud enough. I say it again. “I said, she can’t marry him.”
“What?” the priest asks.
“Holy shit,” Rowan hisses into his coat sleeve, but I hear him all the same. There’s an audible, collective gasp from the crowd as they register what I just did.
