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“I just want to know…” We lost Lilly because of what I did. I should have gotten her help. I can’t keep the pain from my voice. “I need to know…”
Hearing the stress in my voice she finally takes notice of me. “What is it?”
“Do you think we—do you think I… did the right thing?”
I hang on to the air, my breath held, waiting for her response.
Finally, she says, “It’s hard to say. But you did what you had to do. And sometimes, that’s the best you can do.”
And she hangs up. No I love you. And tears fill my eyes at her rejection.
But she didn’t hang up the phone.
I hear voices. Her and Joe, talking. I pick my phone up to hang up, but I stop when I hear her say my name.
“Kitt had to get out of town. What other choice did she have? And it just happened to work out perfectly for us. I mean, talk about the universe offering a gift at the right moment.”
Joe’s voice sounds further away. I hold the phone closer to my ear to hear. “What about the cops? Think she’ll get off?”
“Oh, I’m sure! She’ll be fine. And if not, I’ll tell her to spin it back on Lilly. She was the one at fault anyway. Not like she’s here to defend herself!”
They share a cruel laugh.
Joe says, “I’m just glad it happened this way and you didn’t have to tell her you were leaving.”
“I know. Can you imagine me telling her I was moving in with you, leaving her behind? Those big brown eyes looking at me, all sad. God. I could not take it. After she moved all the way out to California to be close to me? Having to leave that shithole town in Pennsylvania that she loved?” Mom laughs. “Never knew what she liked about it. I got out of there the moment Kitt was a legal adult, and my responsibilities were over.”
“This was so much better?—”
I hang up before Joe finishes. I’ve heard enough. Mom was planning on moving in with him the entire time. She used the worst tragedy in my life as a catalyst to make her move. I think back to that night, her nails digging into my arms, convincing me not to go to the police.
If her daughter was wrapped up in a murder investigation, she wouldn’t have been able to leave town. While I stood there, in shock, tears running down my cheeks, was she calculating how she could spin it to her advantage?
I wipe the tears away, forcing myself not to think of my losses, my grandparents, then Lilly, and now Mom, and I know—there’s nothing for me back home.
Chapter Twenty
Bayne
Kitt’s woken up in a sullen mood. She’s not even put the kettle on as she usually does, is just sitting on the couch, the pink chenille blanket wrapped around her shoulders. I bring her toast, made with the last of the bread she baked earlier in the week.
“Thanks.” She offers a weak smile.
“You alright?” I think about her sucking my cock last night. The most amazing feeling of my life. Did that upset her? “Was I too rough last night?”
“No.” She shakes her head. She’s not even shy about it as she confesses, “I liked last night.”
“Me too,” I say.
I wait a beat for her to speak. “Just something with my mom that bummed me out.”
“Want to talk?” She shakes her head no, and I don’t push her.
Seeing her like this… it makes a strange aching in my chest. I want to fix it. And I can’t. I don’t like that.
The words are out before I can stop them. “There’s a horse race this morning. You should come.”
“What?”
