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To show him I mean it, I grab his hips, pulling him further into me. Spreading my legs, I focus on the feel of him entering me. The fullness of it as my pussy stretches, my skin burning, and then the pain ebbs away into the slow spreading of warm, glowing pleasure.
One that fully makes me feel alive, and it’s a bit cheesy, but finally like a woman. His big strong body over mine, filling me, thrusting in and out of me, his skin growing damp with perspiration as he gives a masculine, sexy moan.
He’s in ecstasy right now, totally out of control while he’s in control, and it’s because of me, my body. Now, growing used to this new sensation, I grow confident, and I don’t hold back.
“I want to try on top.”
His husky voice stops me. “Say please.”
“Please.”
He grabs my hips, pulling out. My pussy aches with emptiness but only for a moment, then he’s flipping me over, lying on his back, guiding me on top of him.
One knee pressed on either side of his thighs, I sit above him. I love the way he looks at me, filled with uncontrollable desire. I love the power that I hold. Running fingers through my hair, I flip the dark ends over my shoulder.
“God, you’re fucking gorgeous.”
Slowly, I ease my way on top of him, slowly pressing through the brief pain as I take all his length. Grinding against him, I chase my pleasure down, a once-virgin cowgirl finally getting to know what it’s like to ride a cowboy.
He grabs my breasts, cupping my curves, pinching my nipples in his thick fingers. I find my pace, and with the grace of a dancer, I move. He can’t take my pace. His hunger too much, he grabs my hips, digging his fingertips into my flesh. Lifting his hips, he bucks against me.
“Oh! God!” He’s so deep, thrusting so hard, I momentarily lose my mind. My eyes close, seeing stars, and a buzzing sound I can’t quite place fills my ears till I reach some kind of pinnacle where my muscles clench down on him like I’m going to break him.
“Oh, fuck!” He pauses, holding there as I come, the intense pleasure making me cry out his name.
“Bayne. God, Bayne.”
My body goes warm and limp and fluid. I collapse against him, my face pressing into the dampness of his chest. He strokes my hair back. “My God, girl.”
He helps me off him, and I stretch out, lying naked by his side, happily squished between him and the back of the couch. But the afterglow comfort is momentary, and it quickly dissipates. I remember him rejecting my kiss.
“Be vulnerable with me. Tell me, what are you feeling? What happened after the dance? Why did you push me away?”
I wait, longer than I should have to, for him to answer.
My heart sinks.
“I don’t know,” he finally says. “I don’t really know how to talk about these things.”
“Your feelings?” I ask.
“Aye.”
The least he could do is try. But he doesn’t want to make that effort for me, does he? I suddenly feel like I’m nothing more to him than an inconvenience or a toy to play with to pass the time.
Deep down I know it’s not true, the truth between us is what I felt in that dance, but it’s how I feel now.
Moving over him as modestly as possible, my feet find the floor as I stand from the couch. I grab the blanket off the back of the couch where I left it earlier, wrapping my naked body in its softness. “I’m going back to my room. I need some space.”
“Kitt. Wait?—”
Turns out he’s not the only one struggling to process his emotions. I turn over my shoulder, not ready to try again. Our eyes meet.
“Just give me the night.” I offer a feeble smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
He lets me go. I’m half hurt by the lack of heavy footsteps following me. Half relieved.
I take a shower, washing him from my body. Torn between heaven and hell. I don’t regret a single moment of pleasure. Or losing my virginity. I dress in soft pajamas and crawl into my bed.
