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I wondered if he knew how true that was. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally.
Aurelio poured us drinks in his classic long-stemmed glasses—so unlike Warren’s more ‘modern’ stemless ones that never quite felt right in my hand.
“It’s nice out. Want to drink on the back porch?” he asked.
I hadn’t stepped foot outside yet.
I knew it was pure paranoia on my part, and that I needed to work through that, but Judah seemed content to play inside with all his new toys, so I didn’t feel too guilty about it.
“Sure,” I agreed, figuring if there was ever a safe way to ease into the outdoors again, it was beside a mafia capo.
I followed him out of the back door and onto a sprawling wooden deck that I’d looked out at from the window anytime I was washing dishes.
He had a full conversation set to one side, the cushions tucked away in a half-hidden deck box. And to the other side was a table with six chairs.
But he led us over toward the two wooden rocking chairs instead.
“These are nice,” I said, running my hand along the wood, imagining rocking Judah to sleep in it some nights. Or even for a nap after playing in the sprawling, green lawn.
“Got a mental image of sitting on them with a wife a few decades in the future, watching the grandkids run around catching fireflies,” he admitted.
That was just so damn sweet.
And I really loved how willing he was to admit that he had such soft hopes for his future.
When Warren talked about the future, it was all about his “legacy” and business and typical, somewhat toxic masculine aspirations.
Aurelio was okay admitting that he wanted a family, that he wanted a long marriage to one woman, that he thought about things like watching their grandkids play in the yard where they’d raised their children.
“Really?” I asked, wanting to hear more, wanting to know about what other things he saw for himself.
To that, he shot me a warm smile.
“Always knew I wanted a family. My siblings teased the fuck out of me about it when we were kids. They didn’t give a single thought to a wife and kids until they were older. I was thinking about that kinda shit when I was still a kid myself.”
“That’s sweet,” I said.
“I guess it comes from having such a huge family. And maybe partially because my ma was always talking about how much of a blessing children were, and how much she was looking forward to having grandchildren.”
“That makes sense,” I agreed. Even if I had no idea what that might be like, having such a small family myself. And as I got older, the little family my mother did have just… drifted away. Until it was only ever the two of us.
“Did you always know you wanted to be a mom?” Aurelio asked.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I admitted. “I think most little girls think about things like that. Their wedding. Babies. A happily ever after. But as an adult… well, I was still so young when I met Warren,” I admitted. “I wasn’t thinking of babies. And then… then the stick turned blue.
“I was so determined not to have Warren know. I fell off the face of the Earth during my pregnancy. I still have no idea how he even found me. But then there he was. At the hospital. Forcing me into his SUV, and dragging me to his house.”
Aurelio’s arm moved out, resting on my knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
It was meant to be chaste.
But at the contact, there was a sizzle that moved up my leg, then kind of culminated in my core, making me suddenly aware of urges, needs, that I hadn’t felt in so long.
“You’re a great mom,” he told me. “In case you haven’t heard that enough. Clearly, it was something you were meant to do.”
“I did need to hear that,” I admitted. Warren was full of nothing but criticism and demands for me to do and be better. “And I wouldn’t mind a dozen little Judahs running around, now that I know how awesome it is having him around.”
I took a sip of the wine, letting the rich, slightly sweet taste flood my tastebuds. I didn’t know a single thing about wine. But I could tell that this was a good one by the way I immediately wanted another taste. Then another.
