AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My heart breaks for him because while my life with our mother was nothing short of a struggle, it was overflowing with love and warmth. Two things Sebastian clearly had very little of in his upbringing.
I don’t know what makes me do it. Maybe he needs to know I’m here and that he’s not alone in his struggle. I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I lean forward and place my hand on his. It’s nothing more than a caress, but it’s enough of a reminder that I’m here for him and for him to look up at me.
His green eyes are misty, and I look away, acting like I don’t see the tears forming there. Something tells me he wouldn’t want me to comment on his emotions.
“It’s okay to feel the way you do. Everyone grieves in their own way, and I can't even imagine how much her loss hurts you. You’d just found out who your mother was and then…” I can’t even finish the sentence, its weight pressing down on my chest and making it difficult to breathe or even speak. I give his hand a tiny squeeze, then release it.
The silence surrounding us becomes deafening, and I shoot a wistful glance over the shelves of books. Anything to distract me from his painful expression. He breaks the silence first with a throat clear.
"Do you really want to see him?"
Him. He doesn’t have to say his name. It’s engraved in every cell of my body. The spotlight is back on me, and I don’t like it. I shift in the chair anxiously. I haven't really wrapped my head around my feelings for Drew. Yes, they’re still there, and I’d be a liar if I said they weren’t, but they’re caked in tears, regret, and anger.
I’m propelled back to the scene he walked in on in the library, and the burn of embarrassment blooms in my cheeks without permission.
"It’s complicated. I don’t really care to see him…”
He slings his feet back up onto the edge of the desk, the rubber soles leaving scuff marks, which he seems completely unconcerned with. Like it's one last rebellion against his grandfather.
He waits for an explanation with one eyebrow cocked. The emotional turmoil from minutes ago has disappeared completely. How does he do that? Turn off his feelings so easily?
I shrug. “I don’t know… What is it you want me to say?” I try not to sound as defensive as I feel, but I can’t help it. I know Sebastian is angry with Drew, and rightfully so, as am I… but they’re best friends. They grew up together. Part of me wonders how he can so easily jump ship after all they’ve been through.
"Well, for starters, it would be great if you said, ‘Please, brother, go ahead and murder him.’”
I let out a sigh. "Sorry, but I’ll never say that. I want to hate him. I really do. And part of me does. The heartache is still so fresh sometimes it’s like he’s breaking my heart all over again just being in his presence. I just...it's hard to erase all the feelings in a month. Especially when he's so..." I meet his eyes, not willing to finish that sentence.
I don’t have to explain. If anyone understands the extreme behaviors and psychopathic tendencies of Drew, it would be Seb. Something tells me he’s got his own sick and twisted problems. He just does a better job of concealing them.
"I can’t stop thinking about what his dad said that night. I need to know the truth, and that means I can’t exile Drew out of my life, not completely.”
"The truth?" Seb snaps, but there's no real heat in his eyes, only his tone.
"Yeah, about the sister thing. No offense, but I can only take your word for something so long. I get that you don’t think it’s anything, but I’ve learned a couple of things in the past month, and one of those things is that sometimes other people know more than you do. I’d feel better talking to him and finding out for myself. Who knows, maybe he knows something we don’t.”
Seb drums his fingers on the heavy wood desk. "What he knows is how to manipulate people so that he can get whatever he wants. It's what his father taught him, and he's really fucking good at it. He knew exactly what to say to draw you into his web. Then when he had you right where he wanted you, he pounced, leaving you without a way to escape. I mean, look at you now. Even after everything, you still let him touch you.”
I already know these things. Drew likes to play games, draw me in and push me away. It’s always been a cat-and-mouse game with him. It wouldn’t be out of character for him to tell me something and give me just enough information each time to keep me crawling back to him. But would he really do that? After everything?
Fuck, am I that predictable?
I know the answer the second Seb sees my realization. "I know it’s difficult, and you don’t have to admit it out loud, but you know I’m right. He’ll tell you anything you want to hear so long as you continue playing his game.”
I roll my eyes because while this is my brother, and I feel enough of a connection to trust him, he’s no different than Drew. "I might look delicate and naive, but I’m far from it. You’re my brother, and you can’t make me believe you wouldn’t do the same thing. If a person is motivated enough, they’ll do anything to stay in control. So while you’re painting him as the villain in all this, I know it wouldn’t take more than a little persuasion for you to do something similar. Don’t even try to deny it. You don't want me to see him, even if I want to."
He slaps his hand on the desk this time. A crack resembling thunder resonates through the room, and I jolt forward in my seat. In all the time I’ve been living here, which isn’t long but definitely long enough to see someone's personality, Sebastian hasn’t ever reacted in anger, at least not toward me.
This is new and, dare I admit, a little scary.
"There’s a fucking difference, Bel. I want to keep you safe, but you're making it so damn difficult.”
I cross my arms over my chest. "You can't just lock me inside my room and throw away the key. I hate to tell you this, but I didn’t come here to exchange one prison for another."
"This isn’t a prison. You’re free to do whatever you want. All I’m saying is I don't want you to willingly walk into dangerous situations."
I scoff. Does he think I’m stupid? Clearly. "You make it sound like I'm trying to hug a bomb or something."
Seb drops his feet to the floor once again and leans over the desk, leveling me with a fierce look that likely makes most men tremble. God knows it’s got a similar effect on me. But my pride and refusal to be pushed around are stronger than my fear, and if I’m not letting Drew push me around, I’m not letting Seb do it either, even if he is my brother.
