AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I hate how he draws me into his web at every turn.
I hate that his darkness reaches for the best still secure parts of me as if it wants to consume me. I don’t want to be that girl who gets her heart stomped into the ground again. I can’t lower my standards and boundaries to be with him. I won’t.
Drew steps toward me, and I shake my head, stepping back to keep the distance between us.
"No. We aren't doing that. I'm not too proud to admit that the second you touch me, I seem to fold in on myself. On my values and beliefs. Your touch cuts me wide open, leaving me exposed and vulnerable, and I can’t be like that right now."
A wolfish grin touches his lips. “That’s so poetic, Bel. My touch cuts you wide open?”
There’s a seductive edge to his voice that reaches out and grabs me, sinking its claws deep into my skin.
Frustrated, I snap, "This isn't a joke, Drew."
“I never said it was.”
“Then why are you smiling and acting like it is? Sebastian wants to kick your ass, and a part of me wants to let him.”
He scoffs. “This isn't the first time we’ve fought, and it won’t be the last time we fight either. We don’t know how to talk. Our words are our fists.”
“That’s stupid and immature.”
He shrugs one shoulder. “That’s how we deal with it.”
I stare at him for a long moment. My heartbeat thunders in my ears. I want him. I want what we had before everything. The slow, beautiful thing that had started between us. I just don’t want to get hurt again, and Drew… he’s not the safe bet.
He’s not the guy you bring home to Mom and Dad. He's not the gentleman who holds the door open for you or gives you flowers on the first date. He’s toxic, messy, a walking red flag, a terrifying nightmare you can never escape, and the villain in every fairy tale. And maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to him. Other girls want to marry the prince. They want the Cinderella castle and the horse carriage.
All I want is to be loved, but I don’t want just any type of love. I want the kind that awakens the soul, that’s obsessive, and scary, and filled with fire that you feel in every cell of your body. I never felt or experienced any of that, not before Drew.
“What's the look for?” Drew asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I tug at the hem of the shirt, his shirt. “My heart tells me to give us a second chance, but I’m not ready to forgive you yet. I don’t know if I can trust you, and all of this makes it worse. When stuff like this—secrets—pop up, and you act all dismissive, it doesn’t build trust between us. It tears it down.”
It feels like we’re saving each other in so many ways, but when does it end? When do we stop having to save each other and start to heal?
“Does it really matter what I say? Sebastian thinks he has it all figured out. He thinks he knows what’s going on between us, who I am. He’s judging me without knowing a goddamn thing. He knows what my father is like, more than anyone, yet he’s the one who is being the hardest on me of everyone. He acts like I wanted to fucking hurt you. Watching your heart break broke me. It fucking broke me, Bel.”
I let my instincts guide me, carrying me to him. Reaching for him, I sink my fingers into his hair, tugging his head down to mine and pressing our foreheads together.
"Sebastian’s opinion doesn’t matter. He’s mad that you hurt me and I can understand his feelings since I’m his sister, but the only person who controls me is me. I make my own decisions, Drew, and if I want to give you a second chance, if I want to give us a second chance, then I will make that decision on my own, and he will not have any say in it."
“Good, because I’m not lying to you, Bel. I didn’t know about the fucking meeting. I’m trying to fix things. My father disappeared recently, went on some trip, and my mother, she’s sick. My father couldn’t be reached, so the doctors called me. He left her there to fucking die. He just left.” I can see and feel every emotion he’s experiencing as if it’s my own. The anger and sadness, combined with guilt. I feel for him, so much because while I know that Drew fucked up and hurt me, he wouldn’t be here now if he didn’t really care about what happened.
“I’m trying to do better. I want you. I want us more than anything, but I can’t flip the switch from who I was to who I want to be, who I need to be for you, overnight. It takes time. It's something I have to work on, and I am. I’m dealing with all this shit at once. But having that person held over my head… It makes it difficult for me to move past. I need your forgiveness, Bel, but I need your acceptance too. I need to know we’re going to do this together.”
I gulp and know he hears it. Letting the moment stretch while I think.
Is it enough?
He takes that moment and grabs me by the hips and pulls me into him, then wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me tight so we are chest to chest. I can only hold his neck and wait until he releases me again. When he does, a long while later, my knees are wobbly.
"Drew..."
He shakes his head. "I'll try, Bel. I'll keep trying, but you need to know something."
I nod, waiting.
His mouth drops to mine, his lips whispering words on my soul without so much as speaking a word. When the kiss breaks, I’m breathless, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest.
