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I can’t blink back the tears fast enough, and a few slip free, cascading down my cheeks. Drew’s eyes follow the tears before he swipes them away with his thumbs.
“Shhh, don’t cry, Flower. I’ve made you cry enough. The only time I want to see tears in your eyes is when you're choking on my cock.”
A bubble of laughter escapes me. “Only you could say something so sweet and poetic and ruin it in the next sentence with something sexual and vulgar.”
The smile he gives me is breathtaking, and I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture of the handsome but incredibly broken man before me.
“What did you expect? A gentleman? Sorry, baby, but no amount of hits to the head would ever convince me to be that way. Plus, you like me like this. You like me being the villain in the story because no one plays the good girl quite as well as you.”
“I’m not always a good girl.” I grin, feeling feverish.
"Oh I know. You’re bad, really fucking bad. My dirty girl. But only for me. It’s only me who gets to see you like this. Only me who gets you so wet and horny you can’t think straight.”
There's a dark husky whisper to his tone that makes me squeeze my thighs together to try to alleviate my need. "Tell me, are you already wet for me? Is that pretty pussy waiting for me to fill it up?"
I clench my thighs again and gulp. "Yes, I need you."
He leans down and nips my bottom lip with his teeth. "My Bel. My beautiful Bel."
The small pain arouses me further, and I reach for him. I sink my hands into his shirt, fisting it, pulling him closer. I need him closer. I need him inside me. His absence this evening when I was with his friends made me feel empty, even if I was nervous about seeing him again. Uncertainty and fear of our fragile connection breaking makes me anxious. I want to be with him, but I’m also afraid of being hurt again.
"The only thing that matters to me is you. Keeping you safe, and protecting you. That's all that matters, you know that right?”
The urgency and fear in his voice makes me pause and I pull back to look at him. "Are you okay, Drew?"
He gives me a sad smile. “Of course, I’m just terrified of losing you. Terrified that I won’t be able to protect you. I can’t let anything happen to you again. I don’t care about anything else. Not about my father or Sebastian. Fuck them all. It’s just me and you, Flower. ”
I’m left even more confused by his riddles, but he finds a way to pull me back in, dragging me down into the dark waters of lust. He’s both the life vest that’s trying to save me and the wave that’s trying to pull me under. His hand snakes around to the back of my head, and I feel his fingers there, tracking the scar that’s now forming.
"I never meant for this to happen. I didn’t know you were going to fall, and even though I can’t go back in time, I’ll spend every day making sure you know how much I care about you.”
Slowly things start to make sense to me. Remorse, guilt. He’s sorry, and this is his way of saying it. I won’t lie, it makes me feel cherished and cared for that he’s apologizing and trying to own up to his mistakes.
"Shhh, it’s okay. I know you want to keep me safe and that you didn't mean for any of those things to happen. I understand that, but for it to be me and you against the world, you must trust me. You have to let me in. We aren’t a team if you’re trying to fight everything on your own.” Some of the sensual haze recedes, and I can look into his beautiful green eyes. "You get that right? Telling me nothing and that it's for my own good does nothing to help me. Worst of all, it does nothing to prepare me for the real threats."
"It's my job to stand between you and threats. Let me fix things, please," His voice is a whisper now as he searches my eyes for something that I can’t quite pinpoint. "Let me show you what you mean to me. I can't lose you, Bel. Not after losing everything else. Not after..." He breaks off, and I wait but he doesn't fill in the blanks. "Let me make it up to you. Let me show you what you mean to me."
Those sinfully rough hands of his roam my body, stopping when they reach my ass, which he grips through my sleep shorts.
"Is that your plan then? Death by orgasm and I will follow you willingly into the dark."
He chuckles. "If that's what it takes then I'll do it. It'll be a hardship but I'll take one for the team."
Sobering, I meet his eyes. "I have to know we are in this together. When you hurt me, I lost my mother, my best friend, everything that means anything to me, and I needed you."
He drops his eyes to my mouth, then lower. "I know. Fuck do I know. I'm sorry, Bel. I never wanted to hurt you. Not ever. It was all to keep you safe. It doesn’t make it right, and I hate that I wasn’t there for you, but I am now. I’m here now. Forever."
I lean up to press my forehead to his. "I need to know we are in this together. That you aren't going to push me away again for my own good."
He shakes his head, rolling his forehead into mine. "I'm done running. If we can fix this, I'm done running. I can't think of anyone but you, always you."
He nips my lips with his teeth, and my lips part on their own admission. His tongue caresses mine, stroking it, and soon he’s owning me, deepening the kiss until I'm dizzy and breathless when he lifts his lips.
I’m damn near panting when he pulls away. Dammit. I'm so fucked right now. I can't say no to him especially when he's like this, so sweet and present with me.
"Tell me that you believe me?"
I blink up at him. "Believe you?"
