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Forgiving him takes time, and I refuse to rush into a full-blown relationship, especially with his father still actively meddling in his life. If Drew wants a relationship with me, he’ll have to find a way to stand up to his father. I refuse to let our love be a secret. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever allow that. And I don’t think Drew would either if the tables were turned.
He wants me and wants us. I can see it and feel it. Every kiss. Every time he slips inside me. He’s worshipping my body, saying things he can’t put into words. It pulls me a little closer every time. His confession about his father, about all of it, means I need to forgive him.
Hell, deep down, I know I already have, but I haven’t brought myself to tell him yet. Not when I fear he’ll revert to his old ways at any second. He’s still very fragile, and any little thing could set him off, sending him back to the way he used to be.
Drew never was a snuggly bunny to begin with. There was always a darkness in him. A darkness which drew me in and whispered depraved things in my ear. Maybe accepting that, and forgiving him, means I will finally have to accept this part of me too. The part of me that likes what he does when he takes control, when he uses and commands me.
That part of me is the part I’m afraid to confess to, even if there is no confession needed between Drew and myself. It's the simple fact that I need to acknowledge it and accept it without bashfulness or embarrassment.
I starfish out on my bed and let out a long sigh, just to release some of the pent-up energy that’s rolling through me. My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I skipped lunch in favor of studying. When will I ever learn? Rolling over and off the bed, I leave the confines of my room and head downstairs, making a beeline for the kitchen.
Maybe I’ll make a cup of coffee too. It's almost dinnertime, and if Sebastian sees me drinking coffee this late, he'll give major side-eye, but I'm willing to risk it. The guy is a nut when it comes to his concern over other people, but God forbid you tell him what to do. I walk through the side entrance of the kitchen and pause, my entire body clamming up when I spot Sebastian and Drew together across the room.
They’re hunched over the counter, and it looks like they’re discussing something. I dart back around the corner because I know both of them will shut down the moment they spot me. And for once, I want to know what the hell they’re up to. I swear if this is another macho 'she belongs to me' bullshit talk, I’m going to murder one or both of them.
Mmm, yes, both probably.
As I hide on the other side of the door, Drew’s quiet whisper fills my ears, “It’s a solid plan, but I don’t know if it’ll work?”
I crane my neck to hear, trying to block out the low hum of the refrigerator only a few steps away.
“Are you doubting me, Marshall? I think it’ll work just fine. My only concerns are Maybel and the effect that it will have on her, but in the end, it’s your decision. If you want to go through with it, I’m happy to help.”
Worried about me? Happy to help?
They might as well be speaking a foreign language right now. I thought they hated each other? Why are they acting all buddy-buddy? The tiny hairs on the back of my neck rise. Something is going on, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.
Drew releases a long exhale and scratches his fingers up over his head. It takes me a second to process what he's wearing once I get a decent look at him. Slacks, a button-down with the sleeves rolled up showing off his impeccable forearms.
He dressed up far more than usual. I like seeing him both ways but really prefer his blue jeans, letterman's jacket, and black combat boots. That’s the real Drew, the one I’ve come to know. A hot rush of heat flames my skin all the way up to my ears as I think about those damn boots and the way he made me ride them that day.
"I’ve thought the decision through, Seb. There’s no other way. Maybel and my mom will never be safe with him alive. There’s no other option. He needs to die.” His words shock me, and a tiny gasp escapes my lips. Shit.
As if they heard the sound, their gazes snap from the counter, and they twist around. They both look like predators seconds away from attacking. Well, guess there's no time like the present to walk in. Ignoring the words I just heard Drew speak, I cut around the corner with a big fake-as-shit yawn to give them some privacy, even if I plan to question Drew the second I get him alone.
“Fancy seeing you here,” I greet.
Sebastian gives me a wavering glance, but Drew stares at me for a long moment, his eyes roaming the length of my body, lingering over the T-shirt I’m wearing that’s now rode up on one side showing off a piece of bare flesh, down to the joggers that hang low on my hips. It’s nothing more than comfortable clothing. There’s nothing sexual about it but he’s looking at me like a man looks after a woman he’s hungered for his entire life.
"Bel," he says, but it sounds more like a warning.
I’m momentarily consumed by the thought of him being a killer. Could he really do something like that? Kill his own father? There has to be another way to do this.
“You okay?” Sebastian interjects, his voice dipped in concern. I realize then that I’ve completely fallen off the deep end and should probably speak now.
I smile and walk closer to the island where they are sitting. "Of course. What's going on? Why aren't you two murdering each other?"
Seb snorts like whatever I’ve said is hilarious, then he’s out of his chair, shoving the stool back under the counter. I’m not shocked.
“Oh, we were just about to get the knives out and start throwing them to see who has better aim.”
“Seriously?” I pretend to be shocked, when in reality I wouldn’t even be a little bit surprised if I walked in on them doing something like that. They have a long, turbulent history of fighting, at least according to Drew. Throwing knives would probably be a tame reaction from both of them.
“Don’t worry, Bel. You saved his life. Next time, though…” He winks. “Anyway, I'm leaving before I have to dismember him. Don't forget I can kill you and make it look like an accident."
“Oh, I’m so scared.” Drew laughs, seeming unfazed by the threat. Are they really joking around with each other? I swear the other day they were at each other’s throats but now it seems everything is okay? Maybe this has something to do with the conversation I walked in on?
I look between the two of them, shaking my head. What the hell is going on?
