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“You’re not alone in this. I think we’re all panicking.”
“You’re fine,” I tell him.
“I’ve had years of staying calm under pressure. Trust me, I’m not fine. I’m in disbelief. I’m overwhelmed. I’m feeling inadequate.”
“Inadequate?” I question.
“Me, a dad?” He huffs out a breath and shakes his head.
“You’re more equipped than me.”
“How so?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d ask that.”
He chuckles, and I smile. It feels good. Relieving.
“I want to know who the father is, and if it is me, I want the baby to know too. I want to be in its life, as long as the both of you are okay with that.”
There, I said it, and it wasn’t horrible. I drop to the bed and take a moment to breathe.
It’s hard being in my head on a normal day, never mind when things like this happen. No, I didn’t want a child, or any sort of commitment, but it’s here now. I know Jordan wants this baby, so I’d never take that from her and suggest an abortion. It’s her body, her choice. But I can’t imagine her having this child and me constantly wondering if it’s mine. So no, I didn’t want this, but maybe with the help of her and Enzo, it will be okay.
If it is mine, that is.
“Of course we’re okay with that, Rafael. We want you here. We’ve said it and have been saying it since you got back. And I’m telling you again we don’t need a goddamn contract.” He gets up and moves to stand between my legs. “I know you,” he says. “I know how you are, what you like, what you need. If you ever decide you want to leave, I won’t stop you, and a contract won’t make a difference in that. We don’t need a fucking contract.”
I hold his dark gaze, swallow hard, and nod. “If the baby is mine, we can get rid of it. If it isn’t, I’ll need to look it over again.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Fine. But I think you and Jordan need to do some bonding.”
“Bonding?” I question with a smirk.
“Not like that,” he grounds out. “Actual bonding. You two don’t know a damn thing about one another outside of the bedroom.”
Yeah, I was already thinking that
He bends to grip my chin and kisses me. “I want you here. I want you to be a part of this in whatever way you are comfortable.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He kisses me again and leaves the room.
Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening.
Chapter Sixty-Two
Jordan
I sit outside at the bistro set on the patio off the library with a book in my hand, but I can’t focus on it. My mind doesn’t want to focus on anything, and I’m considering going to sleep because of it.
The heavy-duty pedestal fan blows my hair around, and I reach for my water to take a sip. Sitting out here in the fresh air helps my nausea, which makes little sense considering it’s so damn hot, but hey? Maybe my baby is going to love the sun. Maybe Enzo and I can take it on trips to the beach, like a normal family would.
Only when I picture that, I envision Rafael there too. Regardless of who fathered this baby, I hope they’re both there to raise it.
“Mind if I sit?”
I glance up, shielding my eyes from the bright sun.
