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“I didn’t want to do this today, but since you’re here, we might as well.” Her knuckles whitened around the doorknob. “We had fun; I’m not denying that. But our trial period is all but over and we won’t…” She swallowed. “We won’t work in the long term.”
A strange roar erupted in my ears. “What are you saying?” I asked quietly.
I knew exactly what she meant, but I wanted to hear it from her mouth. I wasn’t giving her an easy way out on this.
“I’m saying there’s no extension.” Sloane’s mouth wavered for a split second before firming. “I want to break up.”
* * *
I was freezing.
The heater was running at full strength, but goosebumps coated my arms and legs, and the doorknob felt like ice in my hand.
Or maybe the cold was coming from the hallway, where Xavier stood still as a winter night, his face carved with shock.
As I watched, the sharp edges hardened into determination, and he shook his head. “No.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I were anywhere but here, that his plea through the door hadn’t weakened my defenses so much I’d abandoned my original plan to break up with him over the phone. That wouldn’t have been the bravest thing to do, but it was preferable a dozen times over to witnessing Xavier’s hurt disbelief in person.
I opened my eyes again and steeled my resolve against the voice banging inside my head, screamingdon’t do this.
I had to. If we didn’t break up now, we’d have to break up someday, and I’d rather cut ties before I was in too deep.
You’re already in too deep,the voice snarled.
I ignored it.
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” I said. “The terms were clear. We date for two months, then decide whether we’re going to work. Well, those two months are over, and I’ve decided we won’t.”
“Youdecided. I remember you saying something about this being a two-way street.” Xavier’s cold stillness fell away and revealed a blaze of emotion in his eyes. “Give me a good reason why we won’t work.”
“We’re too different.”
“That wasn’t a problem when we were dating. Opposites have long-term relationships all the time, Luna. It’s not a deal-breaker.”
“It is for us.” Something large and jagged had taken up residence in my throat, and every word scraped painfully on its way out. “I’m not meant for long-term relationships, okay? I get bored. Things don’t work out. What we have is already complicated because we work together, and it’s easier for both of us if we break up before we’re forced to.”
I’d rehearsed my speech a hundred times over the past two days, but it rang as false now as it had the first time.
Ididhave a good reason for why we wouldn’t work, but I couldn’t tell him because I was terrified—of him, of this, ofus.
He wouldn’t knowingly hurt me, not right now, but if I gave him an inch, he’d take a mile. I’d succumb to his promises, his power over me would solidify, and one day, I’d wake up and realize he could break me into more pieces than anyone else. His offhanded comment, delivered in the heat of the moment last week, had sent me reeling. What would happen if hetried?
Everything was fine during the honeymoon phase of a relationship, but that phase had to end eventually, and I refused to leave myself vulnerable when that happened.
No matter how much it hurt in the short term, breaking up was the best thing to do in the long term.
“Forced?” Xavier’s eyes flashed at my reply. “Who’s going to force us, Sloane? Your family, our friends, the world? They can all fuck themselves.”
“Stop. This is the smart—”
“I don’t give a damn about smart. I give a damn about us and the fact you’re lying to me.”
Heat seared my cheeks and chased away the bone-rattling cold. “I amnotlying,” I snapped, trying to hide the waver in my voice. “Do you remember when we ran into Mark at the restaurant? You said he couldn’t take a hint. Don’t repeat his mistake.”
It was a low blow, and my chest wrenched at Xavier’s resulting flinch.
I didn’t want to hurt him, but if that was what it took, that was what I’d do—no matter how much it destroyed me in the process as well.
