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A thick sensation crawled into my throat and curled up there. “Trust me.” I strangled my bag strap with one hand. “You don’t want to know me outside work.”
When I was working, no one blamed me for being cold or direct. They expected it. When I was dating…that was a whole different matter.
“Let me be the judge of that.” Xavier’s voice softened. “What are you so afraid of?”
A wretched tingle spread behind my eyes and nose. “Nothing.” I averted my gaze to the street, where honking cars and jaywalking pedestrians provided enough stimulation to obscure my real answer.
I’m afraid of letting someone in again. I’m afraid of getting my heart broken.
I’m afraid that, if you get to know the real me, you’ll find me unlovable like everyone else, and it’ll hurt so much more because it’s you.
My past was my past. I’d been young, stupid, and inexperienced, and I’d dated plenty of other men since my first heartbreak. I hadn’t been afraid of giving them a chance because I knew they wouldn’t breach my defenses.
Xavier? He had the potential to destroy the entire system. “Sloane.” His light touch seared my arm. “Look at me.” “No.” I hardened my resolve and thrust out my arm to hail a passing cab. “We’ll go over your PR plan later. I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
By that, I meant I was going to catch up on my emails at home, take a nice long bubble bath, indulge in a glass of wine and a movie…andnotthink about Xavier Castillo in any way, shape, or form.
The cab screeched to a halt in front of me. I opened the door and climbed in. Xavier climbed in after me.
“What are you doing?” I demanded. “This is breaking and entering!”
“It’s a cab.”
“That you’rebreaking and enteringinto.” I rapped my knuckles against the divider separating us from the front seat. “You have an intruder in your car. I don’t know this man. Please dispose of him immediately.”
The driver glanced in the rearview mirror, unimpressed. “Weren’t ya just talking to him a second ago?”
“Hewas talking to me.”
“Wewere talking to each other,” Xavier corrected. “I—”
The driver released a huge sigh. “Look, lady, I don’t got time to deal with a lovers’ spat. You wanna go or not?”
“We’re not—”
“She wants to go. Just keep driving around until we say otherwise.” Xavier slipped a hundred-dollar-bill through the opening in the divider. “A pre-tip for your service. Thanks, man.”
The driver snatched the bill from his hand and sped off. “This is kidnapping,” I said furiously. “You are committing a crime.”
“You broke into my room twice in the past month, so consider us even.” Xavier smiled, but his eyes remained serious. “You can’t keep running from the hard stuff, Luna. Eventually, you’ll have to face what you’re so afraid of.”
“That’s ironic, coming from you.”
Xavier had spent half his life avoiding responsibility. He was the last person who should lecture me on running.
“True,” he acknowledged. “But I’m working on it.” I didn’t have a good answer to that.
I slumped against my seat, suddenly exhausted.
It was too much. Spain, Colombia, seeing Pen, getting my father’s email and finding out my sister was pregnant, kissing Xavier…The past month’s bombshells had hammered dent after dent into my walls, and I was so tired of holding them up.
“If you truly didn’t feel anything during our kiss, I’ll stop the car right now, and we’ll never discuss this again,” Xavier said quietly. “It won’t affect our work together, and we can pretend it never happened. But if there’s even a tiny part of you that thinks this can work...” He swallowed. “I’m not saying we have to get married or jump into a long-term relationship, but I want us to let each other in. Doesn’t have to go all the way to the rooms where we keep our secrets. Even the entrance hall will do for now.”
My laugh broke free of its own accord. “My God. That is theworstmetaphor I’ve ever heard.”
“Hey, I never said I was a poet.” He gave me a crooked grin. “So, what do you say? They’re just dates, Luna. We’ll keep them discreet, and if it works, it works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. No harm, no foul.”
The responsible thing to do was shut this down once and for all. Nothing good could come of lettinganyman in, much less one as clever and charming as Xavier, and saying yes went against my vow not to get involved with clients.
