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Seeing little Rowena smiling back at her sent a bittersweet feeling through Teagan. She was happy for Ro and all the beautiful memories she had made growing up, but she was a bit jealous and a little bitter. Teagan didn't have a single photograph of her childhood. None of her foster parents thought to take any of her, and if they did, she wasn't given the photos when she moved on to other homes. No, her childhood wasn't photographed, and maybe that was for the best. Teagan had enough baggage to fill her nightmares and memories; she didn't need physical evidence of the trauma.
"Teagan," Jean said, coming into the room. "Come give me a hug, child." Teagan knew she had no choice. Both Ro and Jean had an annoying habit of not respecting personal space and hugging people, whether they wanted one or not.
"Hi, Jean," Teagan said, turning to embrace the older woman.
"One day, you will call me Mom."
"That's what you keep telling me."
"That's what I know," she responded, breaking the hug and going to sit on the couch. Teagan wondered, not for the first time, at Jean's confidence. "Now, come sit next to me and tell me why you are so conflicted."
"How do you do that?" Teagan marveled.
"Do what?"
"Know things."
"Intuition. When you are one with the 'Mother', you are more aware." Jean patted the couch again. Sighing, Teagan went and sat next to her. "Now, tell me why you won't do as I told you and let Luca love you."
"Damn," Teagan muttered. She really got to the heart of the issue quickly, didn't she?
"Spill." The command was one word, but in reality, it was everything to Teagan. Spill, she did. She confessed her fear that Luca was out of her league. Why would a handsome, successful man want an orphaned, plain jane? She told Jean all about her insecurities and how she didn't know how to love or how to trust that Luca wouldn't hurt her.
"Don't ever be afraid to fall in love," Jean said, wiping the tears from Teagan's cheeks with the pad of her thumb. "It isn't falling you're afraid of; it is the fear of rejection. Right? It's the fear of him hurting you?"
"Yes. Everyone leaves me. I've never really been worthy of love, of sticking around for."
"Teagan, you are worthy of love. You're worthy of everything good and right in this life. It wasn't you who wasn't worth it, sweet girl. It was those who left you who didn't deserve you. They lost out on the treasure you are. They have an emptiness where brightness could be. It was never about you. As a child, you have no control over what adults choose. Let me ask this. Do you think Ro or Evie are worthy of love?"
"Of course!" There was not a single second of hesitation from Teagan.
"Did your parents not abandon them as well? Yet, you didn't hesitate to say that they are worthy of love."
"Yes, but Ro had you, and Evie had her parents."
"Adult choices do not equate to lovability. You have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. You are worthy, sweetheart. You are so worthy. Let them love you. Let Ro and Evie teach you about family, and we are here for you, too. Luca is a good man, a strong man. We have known him for a very long time, ever since Ro met Octavius." Jean patted Teagan's hand. "I wouldn't steer you wrong. He has already fallen for you. All you need to do is let him love you. Teagan, if you surrender to him, if you let him lead you, I truly believe you will be the happiest you have ever been."
"But what if—"
"If he leaves you? If he breaks your heart? What if he doesn't?"
"I didn't think about it that way."
"You don't have to face this world alone. Let him in, and let him help heal your heart. You are worthy of his love, and he is a good one. He won't hurt you."
"How do you know that? How do you know he won't hurt me?"
"I know; trust me."
Teagan wanted to; she really did.
