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“But-“
“Why do you think this? Who have you been talking to that gave you this impression? What’s the reason as to why you feel this way?” he asked softly, instinctively knowing something happened that colored her perception of her sexual identity.
She shook her head against his hold. “I can’t tell you,” she said angrily. Olivia looked to the side, avoiding his stare.
Colin felt a fresh wave of heat wash over him as he bristled, irritated. He leaned a hand against the wall next to her head.
“Does it have to do with one of your side hustles?” he pressed.
Get the fucking hell out of here. I’m not telling you shit. Not a damn thing, Olivia muttered inside of her head. Seeing he wasn’t going to relent.
“Bunny,” she whispered.
Shocked, Colin let go of her immediately. They stared silently at each other.
“Whatever happened to make you feel this way, doesn’t make it any less true. I can make you love it, Olivia. This side of yourself you don’t want to see. I can give you what you need. I thought maybe you didn’t trust me, but now I’m seeing it’s you that you don’t trust. You need to trust yourself; you can lose yourself in me. I promise. I’ll take care of you. We can be so amazing,” he whispered.
Mi amor, he kept the endearment in. Colin bit his tongue, waiting for her to turn her eyes to him. Acknowledge what he’d just said to her. He stood patiently for a minute, seeing she wasn’t relenting. He pushed off the wall and folded his arms.
“Go,” he said curtly, dismissing her. He clenched his jaw, watching her shake her head and quietly walk out the door.
Colin sat on the bench and put his head in his hands. Wondering how he didn’t catch it earlier. A sadist’s best friend was a masochist. And the heavens just gave him one for free? A masochist who didn’t know she was a masochist. The heavens had a sense of humor indeed.
And how the hell was he supposed to navigate this with her if she refused to acknowledge it?
The Closet
A couple of weeks later Colin was antsy, feeling like spending more money.
So, he spent time considering Olivia’s nasty words to him weeks ago in their closet about being able to adopt a bunch of children with the amount of money his and her clothes were worth. Then he had her call an orphanage in Africa, China, and Russia and made her donate five hundred thousand dollars to each one.
He was happy with this idea, because she couldn’t even be mad about doing it, because who could be mad when you’re donating to help children?
Surely not Olivia, he thought, pleased with himself.
Afterwards, he took Olivia shopping again for their upcoming Thanksgiving charity gala, finding several dresses that he’d loved on her that he instructed her to present for him like a living doll. Turning on a raised pedestal in front of tri-folded mirrors for him as she posed in dress after dress. He wanted her to pick one, but she insisted it be his choice. Not having ever been to a gala and trusting his judgment more.
Colin settled on a red, slinky satin number with a big bow in the back at her hips. Loving the way it accented her body shape and fell across her breasts and hips.
The event was a few days before Thanksgiving, and she’d spent a couple of days preparing. She’d been waxed, primped, and exfoliated within an inch of her life, but she couldn’t help not relaxing. Not able to relax, even when the manicurists told her to stop tensing her fingers during her manicure. Even her masseuse gave her an extra half hour for free because the massage wasn’t helping.
Olivia had preferred to do her own hair and makeup, not yet ready to take the plunge to go to a hairdresser. She spent half of the day doing her own hair nervously. Wondering if Colin would like it.
It would be so nice to just go and have some fun tonight. Stop being so anxious, she thought as she sat at the vanity and faffed with her waves.
A huge smile broke out on her face when she realized she was really looking forward to her first gala. She sat there, curling iron in her hair, feeling herself start to finally lose some tension as she let herself imagine what tonight was going to be like. She giggled to herself when she thought about spinning on the dance floor. Dancing with Colin. Her eyes went soft.
I bet he dances so well. I bet his body will feel so good gliding against mine too, her thoughts turned to what he said while they were in the gym, and she felt the tension start to creep back. Sighing, she looked over at the small vodka cranberry drink she’d been sipping on, snatching it up and downing it as she pulled the iron out of her hair, enjoying the thick bouncy coil.
She bristled, hating all these feelings, how to navigate them. And she couldn’t even work to get her mind off them.
Olivia bit her lip, wondering if Colin truly enjoyed these events as well, or just attended them out of obligation. Being around influential people for many years, she suspected he was probably bored of these things at this point. Her thoughts shifted once again to the sauna, and the weeks afterwards. She just couldn’t shake him suggesting she was a masochist.
Colin had been working diligently since their talk. A new country was in demand of his software and Johnathan’s cars, and he was at the office late having meeting after meeting. Olivia began falling asleep before he’d even come home because she spent the day working herself to exhaustion anxiously. She’d started going to Vanessa’s house to spend time with her and Allison, not wanting Allison to feel like she was abandoning her.
Olivia knew something was majorly off with herself and didn’t want to bother Colin with it. Not after the conversation they’d had in the sauna. He was getting too close to her secrets.
Smoothing down her red silk dress, she turned once more in the mirror, making sure it hung just right. She was incredibly nervous wearing such a daring, expensive dress, but Colin picked it out especially for her and she wanted to look good for him.
