Page 118 of The Pain We Nurture


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Taking the loofah, Olivia absentmindedly ran it up her arms.

Her eyes stared off into space as she thought about the rest of the agreement. How was she going to get out of this without a broken heart? He’d given her no real indication that he cared for her beyond a person he signed a contractual agreement with. For not the first time, she’d thought about the house she designed some years ago. Wondering if she’d known then what she knew now, would she have still designed it?

This thing between them was getting complicated, in more ways than one.

Her gaze narrowed, her thoughts now turning to once the agreement was over. He would be living in the house she designed, and where would she be? Alone?

Biting her lip, Olivia dismissed all thoughts, feeling herself getting upset. Once again shutting down her emotions in favor of putting on a front for this man who expected her to hold up her end of the agreement. Stepping carefully out of the bath she blow dried her hair and secured the mass into a thick bun at the top of her head. She lightly did her makeup, smeared a light gloss on her lips, and dressed in all black today. Like her mood.

Padding over to the bed, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand and opened her phone up to her text messages before finding Vanessa.

Hey sis, are you free? -Ollie

She waited a second until she saw the three ellipses show up, indicating that Vanessa was responding. She walked to the lounge and sat down in a chair.

Yes, what’s up O? You ok? -Nessie

Yes. -Ollie

She scrunched her eyebrows before typing back quickly.

That’s a lie. I’m not ok, I don’t think. I’m confused. -Ollie

Ok…what’s up? What’s bothering/confusing you? Is it Colin? -Nessie

No... maybe. Sort of, but not really. Nessie, do you know what a masochist is? -Ollie

Yes. Are you finally figuring out you are one? Lol. I’ve been waiting a long time for this conversaatttiiiooonnnnn! Did the man bring out your wild side finally? OMG bitch, puhLEEASEE tell me the dick is good. That’s all I want to hear! -Nessie

Vanessa sent about twenty demon emojis, five water squirt emojis, and a few eggplant emojis after the text.

Olivia’s jaw hit the ground as she reread her sister’s text exactly four times before she responded.

I’m sorry, what do you mean you’ve been waiting years for this conversation? And I’m finally figuring it out? Like, you knew? -Ollie

Olivia waited forever for her to text back.

Well, not explicitly, no. But come on, I’m your big sister. I’ve always noticed things. You would do weird shit like brush your hair too hard, hitting your head with every pass of the brush. Or you’re always biting the shit out of your finger when you’re stressed. You press your hands into your eyes hard when you’re upset. You would dig your fingernails into your skin. It’s like anytime you needed relief from something, you would find a way to hurt yourself. It was never like, serious enough for us to worry that you needed to go to the doctor or anything but- even grandpa Stephen mentioned some things a few times, and I knew I wasn’t crazy for thinking it. -Nessie

Olivia paused, rereading her message a couple of times. She waited, seeing the three dots indicating Vanessa was typing more.

Soooo can you answer my questions please??? I’ll tell you, Johnathan is just….*sigh* like I would suck the fucking chrome off his dick if he asked me to. The man is beautiful. Fucking amazing. He is blowing my MIND. He did this thing to my ass with his tongue the other day that had me screaming for Jesus and you know I don’t do that. -Nessie

Olivia’s mouth formed an 'Oh' before she felt her face heat up. She pressed the back of a shaky hand to her mouth, trying to hold in a hilarious giggle.

“Oh my GAWD Vanessa!”-Ollie

I giveee…yes Colin is absolutely blowing my mind too. Last night, he tied me to the closet with one of his belts around my neck. Then fucked me for three hours straight. It was amazing. The best was when he made me strangle myself before he picked me up. -Ollie.

Vanessa sent about fifty shocked and then laughing emojis.

Oh my god. You are such a freak. -Nessie.

I really like him, Sis, and it makes me scared. How am I going to get to the end of this in one piece? -Ollie

Well, does there have to be an end? Why can’t this turn into something other than an agreement? Relationship > Agreement. Johnathan said the man is absolutely infatuated with you. -Nessie

Olivia put her phone down and looked up, thinking to herself. Contemplating her sister’s words.

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