Page 119 of The Pain We Nurture


Font Size:  

Yeah, well, if that’s the case, why couldn’t he wake up with me this morning and talk to me about his nightmare he had last night instead of running? The man wants to know my secrets but won’t even tell me any of his, she thought, her sad feeling returning. She looked at her phone again.

I don’t know. I have to go Vanessa. Gotta run to the grocery store. Thanks for talking to me. Love ya. -Ollie

Grabbing her purse, she took the elevator downstairs, stretching her aching quads on the way down. The sad feeling magnified as she opened the elevator door, feeling Colin’s presence somewhere in the house.

Walking with purpose, she’d rounded the bend and stepped into his office without knocking. Finding him standing and leaning his hips against his desk, reading some papers. He had his reading glasses on, and the hair on his jaw looked slightly thicker, betraying his lack of grooming that morning. His eyes met hers over the top of the papers. His eyes froze on her lips before flickering back to her.

A tense moment passed between them before she swallowed, clutching her purse to her body tightly.

“I’m going to the grocery store. To get the items we need for Thanksgiving. If you have anything special you need, please text me so I can get it on the way back in,” she said hoarsely, her voice still scratchy from screaming for hours the night before.

Colin stayed silent as he penetrated her with his stare. And her lips parted briefly as he eye fucked her from head to toe. She blinked rapidly, looking away uncomfortably before turning awkwardly. Not waiting for him to say anything. Quickly making her way to the garage, she blinked back stinging tears, betraying rising emotions.

Why? Why do I have to feel like this. What the fuck IS this anyways? And why do I gotta feel it when it’s not going to end up going any fucking where. What the fuck. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid, she lamented in her head.

Upset because she was emotional, she gunned the gas a little too hard and flinched as she came just a hair away from annihilating his favorite bike. Why he kept it so close to her car, she didn’t know. She gritted her teeth hard, correcting her car and pulling out smoothly, punching the button that let the garage door up. Tears streamed down her face as she rounded the house and down the garage.

Her phone pinged with another text from Vanessa.

Biting her lip angrily, she pushed the button to call her, knowing she was doing it because Colin wanted her to. He'd flip if he thought she was texting and driving.

“Hey babe. How’s it going?” her sister chirped cheerfully over the phone. She sucked in a deep breath, hating that she smelled fresh new leather instead of her car’s old musky smell. She hurriedly turned the heat off, preferring to feel the frigid air like she did when she was in her own car that provided her with no heat.

“Did Colin call you?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, he’s worried about you. Olivia, are you ok?” Vanessa prodded.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I am anymore,” she said, her voice thickening with tears.

“Well… you have to trust your heart,” Vanessa’s voice crooned over the phone.

Trust, Olivia scrunched up her nose. There’s that fucking-I HATE that word. Dammit. Trust doesn’t mean anything. I trusted my parents were going to raise me. I trusted I was going to make something of myself. Ally…Trust means nothing. Always ends in betrayal.

“No offense, Vanessa. My fucking heart makes no difference. Never has, you know that,” she said harshly, glancing in the rearview mirror she saw her nose and eyes were red. She drove down the streets slowly.

“That man loves you, sis. Why can’t you just relax and let it happen?” her sister’s voice filled her car softly. She wished it were comforting.

“Because every fucking good thing that happens to me gets taken away. You know that. I’m just so tired of being disappointed,” she half yelled. Her breath hitching in her chest.

“Olivia, we can figure this out. There’s still time. You’re about to finish school, the majority of our stress is over! You have options, we’re in a better place than we were-”

“No. No! I’m not doing that, and I don’t want to hear it. We’ve already talked about this, Vanessa. And you’re wrong, time is the one thing I’m solidly running out of,” she said harshly.

Thinking of all the time that’s now racked up in the agreement between her and Colin, Olivia suddenly wished she hadn’t accepted the call. In an extremely rare move, she hung up on her sister. Fighting the urge to throw her head back and close her eyes in agitation, she turned off the highway, merging onto another one a few exits down.

Love, she was falling in love with him. But their time together was on a time limit. So, she couldn’t bring herself to trust him. He had secrets he didn’t want to disclose.

Heading to the diner, she cried silently, needing desperately to feel normal.

***

Belinda was there when she walked in. The woman looked happy and refreshed, and the diner was spruced up rather nicely, with new paint, new floor, and new windows. The outside was updated as well, with fresh paint and some plants. She bristled, knowing it was Colin’s doing.

She couldn’t seem to go anywhere without thinking of him, seeing him.

Olivia pushed the feelings aside and hugged the woman with a big smile. Laughing as Belinda leaned forward to smack a kiss onto her cheek affectionately and motioned for her to sit down in a corner. The woman caught her up on all the going ons at the diner, and who was working there now and their gossip. They chatted over a nasty cup of coffee and a piece of pie. And she was once again reminded of Colin and the day he’d come into the diner and gave her his card for the first time.

Her phone pinged with a text from Colin, as if he’d felt her thinking about him.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com