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She took the elevator upstairs and walked into their bedroom before veering left into the closet. She undressed and took a second to brush her hair out. Sighing at the admission that she was not just tired, but exhausted. Yawning, she put on a silk robe that left most of her cleavage bare and tied the sash just under. The robe made her look very womanly and sexy. She heard her phone ding.
Hey Red, this is G, I hope you don’t mind but I’d saved your personal cell from when you called me one time from it. I wanted to let you know that Judge Carmichael has been causing trouble asking about you. It’s pretty serious and we had to drop him as a client. I just wanted to give you a head up just in case. Hope you are doing well, I’d love to hear from you and know you’re doing ok. Love, G.
Olivia's eyebrows raised in surprise at hearing from her powerful former boss. Her heart began to pound, knowing she was going to have to inform Colin and was worried at what his reaction would be. She frowned at the contents and responded back.
Hey G, thank you for the heads up, I am doing ok for now. I hope you are well. -O
Leaving her phone in the bedroom, she made her way downstairs and heard Colin in the formal dining room. Veering off again, she walked through, seeing the lights dimmed and candles lit on the table reflecting off the huge picture window. He had jazz playing in the background, a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket of ice on the table, and two plates of small racks of lamb with a rosemary and wine reduction sauce, baby mashed potatoes, and asparagus, courtesy of Mary.
Tonight, she found herself truly grateful that they had help, she didn’t think she’d be able to manage dinner on top of everything else going on.
She gave her thanks and sat at a chair that he had pulled out for her, suppressing another yawn. She smiled at Colin who’d put his glasses on, finding he often liked to wear them in the evening and the habit betrayed that he’d spent too many hours on the computer that day. She thought they made him look very distinguished and sexy, and if she had more energy she’d crawl under the table and suck him off.
But she needed to talk to him about the text she’d just gotten.
She leaned forward and grabbed the wine and poured his glass first, a healthy amount. She spoke as she started pouring herself another smaller amount.
“Colin,” Olivia paused, the glass hadn’t made it to her lips before she finished. “Gypsy texted me on my personal phone. Said something about Judge Carmichael causing trouble asking about me, and they had to drop him as a client. I just thought you should know…” she trailed off, putting her glass down untouched and picking up her utensils.
Olivia cut a small piece of lamb and put it in her mouth, chewing slowly as her eyes drooped slightly, suddenly wishing that she might have told him another time.
She looked up to see him staring at her.
“When was this?” he said, sipping his own wine and leaving his food untouched. Again, she was struck by how competent he looked, how much older and masculine he was.
“Just before I came down, she texted my personal cell,” Olivia whispered, closing her eyes against the burning gritty feel. She put down her silverware and rubbed her eyes, blinking against the sting there. He’d screwed her till almost four o'clock in the morning, then she had to get up at seven for school and she was running on fumes.
Colin grunted and began to eat.
“I’ll handle it. Thank you for telling me,” he said, his hand coming out to grab hers reassuringly, and she believed him. She knew he wouldn’t hesitate to use what influence was at his disposal to ruin the judge.
“I just…I don’t want to be an embarrassment to you,” she said softly, putting another forkful of asparagus in her mouth. She winced as he threw his utensils down rather harshly. She watched as he placed his elbows on the table and tented his hands together, in a rare moment of introspection, he sat there silently thinking.
“Colin?” she said, arching an eyebrow at him, not used to seeing him so lost in thought. He turned his eyes to hers.
“Olivia, I love you. I don’t know how else to say it. You are not an embarrassment to me, your past is not an embarrassment to me. Do you think I would have brought you into my home, into my life, into this agreement and married you if I thought you were an embarrassment? I don’t ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth, I’ll punish you the next time I hear you say anything like that. I’m only not doing that now because you look like you’re going to fall over from exhaustion,” he said softly, his eyes tight on hers.
She nodded once, spearing another bite of her food and chewing it slowly.
“About Allison,” she whispered, changing the subject, the tired feeling overcoming her and making her want to talk about issues that she’d not wanted to before. He leaned back in his chair, snagging his wine glass and giving her his full attention.
“Would you think any less of me, if I said I didn’t want to regain custody of her?” she whispered, her eyes watering as she stared rather unseeingly at her plate.
Fucking God why can’t I stop crying? It’s every day, she lamented to herself, bowing her head as she wiped a lone tear away.
There was a tense moment as he took a slow sip of his wine and placed his hand on her chair, scooching her to him easily. He placed his palm against the side of her face and turned her head to him.
“Is it because of me? Because you’re worried about how I would treat her? If I would accept her? Because you don’t have to worry about that,” he said, his voice taking on a hard edge.
She peeked up at him with a slightly shocked look on her face and slowly shook her head no. They stared at each other hard and Olivia tightened her lips, seeing a myriad of thoughts cross his expression before he decided to reply to her.
“I wouldn’t,” he said gently. “But I would like to hear your reasoning when you are ready. Because this is a loss. And I think this needs to be discussed in length with Vanessa and Jonathan. I know that they said they would continue to raise her, but maybe we can discuss something along the lines of contributing to her care; and if you would ever like to tell her in the future, what that would look like,” he said, giving her a sad smile. “But no. I don’t think any less of you. This is a hard, multifaceted situation, no matter how you slice it. And I’m truly sorry that I couldn’t have found you sooner to help amend this before it got to be too much,” he stroked her cheek before continuing.
“But I would like to discuss the possibility of having more children with you. When you are ready of course,” he said, both of their meals were effectively forgotten.
Olivia stared at him with her green eyes, welling up with tears again. She nodded once, looked away and reached for her wine glass, cradling it against her breasts and looking rather pale and shocked. Colin cleared his throat.
He stood up and held out his hand, leading her upstairs where he pulled down the black out curtains in the room and made them take a nap for a couple hours, both needing rest.
