Page 49 of The Pain We Allow


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Allison was sitting in Jonathan’s lap and trying to convince him why they needed an extra huge biscuit. Hence, why she kept tearing off too much.

“But daddy, Shadow needs a biscuit!” she said, whipping her head around to look at him.

“Peanut, Shadow is a dog and shouldn’t have flour. How about we make him a special treat since you love him so much?” Jonathan said, standing up with Allison in his arms. They walked over to the fridge, coming back with a piece of meat wrapped in white butcher paper.

Olivia clocked the price, seeing it was a forty-dollar lamb chop. Her mouth fell open. “Jonathan! You’re not?” she said, a hilarious giggle erupting from her as the man began to unwrap the paper before reaching above them and grabbing a skillet hanging from a rack. He took it to one of the many burners and turned one on, setting the skillet on the fire.

"I definitely am," Jonathan replied confidently with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Bro, I hope to be as rich as you one day,” Colin teased, as Jonathan instructed Allison to pour a dollop of oil in the skillet.

“What? The girl wants Shadow to eat good, so eat good Shadow shall,” Jonathan said happily, grinning down into the little girls’ eyes and bopping her gently on the nose. Vanessa looked at them together and smiled, dropping the biscuits into the soup.

They watched in comfortable silence as Jonathan put the chop in the skillet and cooked it to rare, before setting it on a butcher block to rest. Colin and Jonathan discussed work a bit, as they were behind on some things. Olivia took the time to observe Allison. She looked healthy. Her cheeks were glowing, and her body was filling out like a five-year-old little girl’s should. She watched as she clambered onto a stool with her trusty pink bunny in her arm. Observing that its ears had been sewed back on, the black thread peeking out against the pink felt of the bunny’s fabric. She blinked back tears; it was only fourteen weeks that she was gone but it might as well have been a lifetime.

“Now,” Colin said, reaching for a knife and sliding the chop closer to him. He began slicing the steak in even cuts, the knife going through the meat easily. “What do we say?” he said in a practiced tone as he picked up a piece of steak and handed it to Allison. She scrunched her nose up at the rare meat.

“Never feed a dog anything that you wouldn’t eat yourself,” she parroted back. It seemed to be a thing between the two of them. Which would explain why she was trying to make the dog the world’s biggest biscuit.Allison bravely took the steak from him and put it into her mouth, her bright green eyes lighting up at the flavor. Olivia watched as he snagged a rare piece for himself, popping it into his mouth and smiling at Allison.

“Yum!” Allison said, smacking her lips and hopping off the stool. She disappeared for a minute and came back with a silver dog bowl. Putting the bowl on the counter gently, she proceeded to dump all the meat into it and then went to the refrigerator.

Olivia watched quietly as she yanked a shelf open harshly, pulling out some pre-cut sweet potato and dumping it in there with the steak before disappearing again and yelling for Shadow. “Holy shit,” Olivia breathed.

Vanessa smiled at her, putting a bowl of steaming hot chicken and dumplings in front of her.“She’s quite the capable little girl,” Vanessa quipped, sharing a brief look with Colin before sliding him his bowl. Jonathan reached over Vanessa with a bowl, placing it in front of her at the island with a spoon before placing his hands on her belly and rubbing, placing his lips to her neck.

“So,” Olivia broke the silence. “There’s no kibble and bits in the house, huh?” she smiled as everyone broke out into laughter.

“Nope,” Jonathan chuckled, turning to grab his own bowl.

“Jesus Nessie, this is delicious,” Colin remarked, licking his spoon.

“Thanks,” Vanessa said before piercing Olivia with a look. “So, why Macau, China?” she inquired, staring her down with her cat-like eyes. Everyone went quiet, Colin and Jonathan both pausing in eating to look at her.

Olivia swallowed hard, her eyes dropping down to her bowl in shame. “Do we have to talk about this right now, Nessie?”

“Uhm yeahhh,” Vanessa scoffed as her eyes met Colin’s for a second. “I think we do. You at least owe us that,” Vanessa said calmly, keeping her eyes trained on Olivia. “You have no clue what the hell we dealt with these weeks you’ve been gone so, I think you can at least give us the courtesy of answering a simple question.”

Olivia took a deep breath before looking up, pointedly ignoring Colin’s stare. She knew the conversation that was going to be had with him once they were alone was going to be a much different one.

“Because that was Gypsy’s contingent plan for all the girls in the underground ring, if anything were to go wrong. Everything was already set in place,” she said simply, her eyes falling back to her bowl. Ignoring their silence, she ate the last bite and then picked the bowl up and brought it to the sink, washing it quietly. She missed the look the three of them gave each other. However, she noted their continued silence from behind her and couldn't blame them for their reaction.

She turned. "I don't want to be the only one getting ripped into. I may have reacted badly, and I am so sorry for how this made you all feel, but I was lied to about something I consider being incredibly serious. While you all are over there being perfect and judging me for it."

Jonathan spoke up. "No one is blaming you for feeling the way you feel Ollie. But next time, come to us. Don't just take off. You have a family that loves you, you don't have to do it by yourself anymore. We would have been more than happy to bring you into our home if needed. Don't ever think you don't have a place here."

Olivia met Jonathan's stare silently before nodding, wrapping her arms around herself. She flicked her eyes to Colin, who was watching her with an unreadable expression, and his demeanor was way calmer than she expected. It hit her then that he wasn't worried about her leaving. He wouldn't be letting her.

“Are y’all up for a movie after dinner?” Vanessa said, breaking the quiet as she spooned a rather alarming amount of food into her mouth, making her cheeks puff out. Jonathan chuckled at the sight.

“What movie do you have in mind?” Colin asked, slightly more animated than he had been. Olivia smiled shyly, happy to be around her family for the first time in weeks.

“Get Him to The Greek!” Vanessa said through a mouthful of biscuits.

The night went on and they put Allison to bed before joining them in the lounge and watching the movie. The couples relaxed against each other. Olivia and Colin were snuggled under a blanket, her ear was pressed against his chest, and she sighed contently for the first time in weeks as she found herself listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat more than the movie.

“Hey you two, I’m going to get her to bed. She’s passed out,” Jonathan said quietly, referring to Vanessa who was snoring softly in his arms. “Colin, you know where your guys’ room is. I’ll leave you to it. Goodnight.” Colin nodded and took the remote from him before he got up with Vanessa in his arms and carried her away.

Olivia placed her head back on his chest and snuggled deeper, sighing.

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