Page 52 of The Pain We Allow


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She hummed in her throat, grateful he couldn’t see her face.

“Turned slightly inside out,” she said. She ran her hands down his thighs, feeling the crisp hair and hard muscles underneath. She relaxed as he took a huge natural sponge and began to wring water all over her shoulders, one hand rubbing circles onto her belly.

Like music to my ears, he thought as a sharp flash of pleasure raced through his body at her words.

“You’re probably going to feel like that for a few weeks,” Colin said unapologetically, his hand moving up to grasp her breasts. “I have a plan B pill for you, and then we need to get you back on the pill. We don’t want any accidents that will prevent me from ravaging this body the way I need to for at least the next year and a half.”

Olivia moaned as he took a sensitive nipple between his forefinger and thumb and rolled. She took pleasure in the fact that he wanted her body to himself for a while. She’d felt unsettled since their conversation months ago at the dinner table regarding children and realized that maybe part of that was the catalyst to her fear; she had so many unknowns with this man. She tilted her head harder against shoulder, realizing that yes, underneath his hard demeanor and his harsh ways with her, he’d taken to Allison very well and he was protective, kind, and gentle with her.

“You’re going to have my babies, Olivia,” he rasped in her ear. His other hand tilted her head to the side so he could meet her eyes. She whimpered as he tightened his fingers on her harder. Removing his fingers from her jaw, he lowered his mouth to hers at the same time he lowered his hand and cupped her pussy possessively. He swallowed her moans as he licked, sucked, and molded his mouth to hers.

Olivia burned. He wasn’t doing anything but tweaking her nipple and cupping her pussy while he kissed her, but she felt laid bare. As if he’d still had her duct taped and spread eagled for him on the plane. He kissed her for a long while, and while he was busy reinforcing their intimacy with one another, she also felt as if he’d crawled into her heart. Her chest felt raw, like he’d opened her up personally and slid his way in.

Her ribs ached; her breastbone throbbed.

Shit, is this love? She thought. Her hand came up to settle across her heart and a whimper escaped her as a tear fell out of her eye. With effort, she pulled away to look at him.

“You came for me,” she whispered, her eyes searching his. “Even though I left in such a horrible way. I fucked your bikes up. I messed my car up. And disappeared for over three months,” Colin’s eyes stared back, no less intense in the light of the day in the bathroom they were in.

“I told you once before; I will always find you, Olivia,” Colin rasped again. His eyes hardened suddenly, the skin tightening around them and crinkling in that way she loved. “But the bikes,” he sucked his teeth. “Oh, you are paaayyyyyiiinnng dearly for that when we get home, missy. You took out six bikes, and my favorite one at that.”

“Well,” Olivia swallowed, a small smile on her face. “I would do my worst if I were you. I totally did that on purpose. I may have to take out more bikes if you don’t pay me back well enough,” she said her tone and face turned serious.

“Careful, sweetie,” he said with a warning tone, his voice just above a whisper. He tilted his head further to regard her with his own serious look, arching one dark eyebrow. “You don’t get to top from the bottom in this relationship. You know how I feel about the tone you take with me.”

Olivia gasped as with a quick twist of his wrist he’d suddenly inserted two thick fingers high and hard into her. She heard water splash on the floor as she arched hard, sucking her teeth in pained pleasure before she relaxed on a low, long moan.

“Jesus, I had to work to get them in baby. You’re so fucking tight and swollen. Tonight’s not going to go well for you, huh?” he retreated and thrust back in gently. Not a complete monster, it was reigned in for now.

“Colin,” his name came off her throat, sounding strangled.

“What. Is. My. Name?” he whispered in her ear, his voice clipped.

“Sir,” she moaned, her pussy clasping weakly.

“That’s right. Sir first, Colin second.” He thrust into her for long minutes, grinning wickedly against her mouth as she grimaced and circled her hips in the tub. Her orgasm evaded her, but he stayed with her, nipping at her lips and his growl rumbling deep in his throat. But yet it continued to be a slow build. She whimpered and furrowed her brow in frustration, her mouth tightening. Her nails bit into Colin's forearm.

“Oh baby, this is good. I love you making me work for it,” he growled, spreading his fingers slightly and swallowing her squeak. His thumb circled her sensitive clit tightly, ignoring her small wiggles to try and get away.

Feeling sweat drip down her temple, Olivia gasped, feeling like she was on fire. She was surprised the tub wasn’t boiling.“Sirrrr…,” she moaned, tilting her head back further. Suddenly worried that he’d let her slip into the water and drown on her orgasm, he might be that sadistic. Her thoughts took another turn, and she was suddenly happy he wasn’t like the main characters in her spicy books she reads who said “come” and then all of a sudden the woman came.

“Stay with me, Olivia. Whatever thoughts you’re having, dismiss them and focus on us,” he said, sensing she was withdrawing in frustration. He bent forward and clamped his teeth on her neck, agitating and pulling her flesh. That did it. Her lungs seized up on a painful gasp and she jerked her hips as she felt her orgasm suddenly attack her from behind, picking her up harshly and tossing her off the cliff.

She heard an embarrassing moan echoing around the bathroom. Her blood rushed in her ears and she relaxed after a tense minute. Her hips lowered back to the tub, nestling against him once more. In her desperation she’d hooked a leg over the side of the tub and arched her lower body out of the water, Colin’s arm banded hard around her chest to keep her anchored to him. With a hitched breath, she realized fingers were still seated firmly inside her. She made a low pained sound as he removed them slowly and with effort, panting.

“Now that,” he said in his hoarse voice, “was the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing in my life. Jesus, you’re going to kill me.”

Colin made them linger in the tub for a while longer, until he was sure she was physically recovered before he activated the drain and lifted her out. He sat her on the vanity and blow dried her hair, giving her small kisses, lingering looks, and soft touches on the marks he’d left on her body.

Olivia felt shattered, and though she missed Allison and her family dearly, she was ready to go home. She just felt too vulnerable and needed some alone time to process what Colin told her on the plane. Colin agreed, and he worked fast, stripping the bed quickly and disappearing down the hallway, leaving her to get dressed. They walked to the front of the house, hand in hand, and Olivia was grateful that Vanessa and Jonathan treated them with much more grace than her and Colin did when they were caught in a similar position when they’d first spent the night months ago at their house.

“I love you, sissy,” Vanessa whispered in her ear after a long hug. They’d spent time saying goodbye to the three of them before climbing in the car and pulling off. Colin placed his hand on her knee in his familiar way, and she covered his hand with hers, breathing deeply and listening as she called in a dinner order from Louis' Lunch. She stayed in the car, not fully trusting her legs, as he went in to grab their food. She took a second to appreciate his sexy walk as he disappeared into the restaurant and pulled out her phone, quickly finding Aliyah’s number and beat out a quick text, feeling her heart beat painfully as shame filled her once again.

Beau, it’s Olivia. I am so incredibly sorry at how I left and not contacting you. I couldn’t risk being found. I’m back home, just wanted to let you know. I love you and hope to talk to you soon. -Olivia

Olivia then sent out almost the same text to Stella, noticing that Colin had put all her contacts into the new phone, minus Gypsy. Feeling a similar pang, she realized she must have left everyone confused and reeling and wondered if she’d get her friendships back. Staring at her phone, she waited several minutes, disappointed when neither of the women replied. She blinked back tears, acknowledging she’d fucked up, plain and simple.

Colin reappeared with two humongous bags of food and slid easily into the driver’s seat, buckling his belt. He turned briefly, seeing the change in her, and his eyes scanned her face in concern.

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