Page 63 of The Pain We Allow


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Jonathan waved a hello before she pointed him to Colin’s study, where he was sitting, going over some paperwork for his company. He’d been walking and looking fresh as a daisy all morning. Olivia, however, was not. She looked thoroughly ran through. By one man, who ironically didn’t.

“Yeah well, disappear for four months and see how you can walk again once Jonathan gets ahold of you,” she mumbled in reply. She limped over to the folder, ignoring her sister’s amused giggles at her walking issue.

“That’s YOUR fault, babe.” Vanessa giggled, settling herself onto a stool and bending her head over the open folder and showing Olivia the first page.

“So you’re having a home birth, after all?” Olivia said surprised. She knew her sister had been contemplating this decision for months. “I am so not getting in the tub with you to help you push,” she said, almost mentally gagging at the image.

“Bitch. But yes, we’re going to have a doula, and we want everyone there. Allison, and you obviously. And that includes Colin. How do you think he’d feel about that?” Vanessa asked Olivia softly. Vanessa knew from her conversations with Jonathan how Colin felt about them raising Allison. She didn’t want to rub salt into a wound she couldn’t see.

“Well, I think he might say yes,” Olivia said slowly. “Let’s ask him?”

They both shuffled to the office door, shooting an embarrassed glance at each other before breaking out into laughter. Because how truly embarrassing. Olivia knocked on the office door, waiting for permission to be let in, having no clue what he and Jonathan were getting up to in there and wanting to save herself from any more embarrassment.

“You don’t have to knock Olivia, you can come in,” she heard Colin call to her as she opened and she and Vanessa walked through the door into the study together.

“Hey guys, sorry to interrupt but, uhm, we have a quick question for you Col-babe,” she corrected quickly at his stern stare. At her self correction his face softened immediately.

Jonathan was sitting in one of the seats across from where Colin sat at his desk, his eyes flickering over Olivia in amusement before landing on Vanessa. Jonathan patted his leg, and Vanessa walked over, settling down on his lap with her arm around his shoulders. They shared an affectionate look.

Olivia smiled, walking over and sitting in the chair next to them. Ignoring Colin's knowing look at the reason why she didn’t come over to him. They’d barely touched today in an unspoken agreement, knowing that the couple was coming over to discuss birth plans. They could surely go half a day without having sex.

Couldn’t they? Olivia, lost in her thoughts, startled when Colin cleared his throat, breaking her from her daydreaming.

“You had a question for me, amor?” he said, his eyes crinkling as he tried to keep from grinning. He was relaxed back in his seat, leaning slightly to the side with his elbow propped up on the armrest, his fingers rubbing his lips as he waited, his head tilted.

Olivia felt her vagina clench. He was just too sexy.

She licked her lips. “Vanessa would like to know, if you would want to be present while the baby’s being born.”

Colin’s brows furrowed. “What?” he said, confused. His eyes landed on Vanessa. “Are you two serious?”

“Yes,” Vanessa smiled. “You’re family, bro,” she whispered, leaning her head on Jonathan.

“Without you, none of us would have found each other. You’re special, Mr. Matchmaker,” Jonathan ribbed, rubbing Vanessa’s belly. The baby started kicking and Olivia leaned over to feel as well, smiling at the thumps. She leaned forward to press her lips against Vanessa’s stomach.

“Stop that peanut, stop kicking your momma!” she teased, murmuring into Vanessa’s stomach for a bit. Vanessa’s belly suddenly moved from one side to the other as the baby readjusted.

Colin frowned, his eyes widening.

My God, he thought, a new appreciation for mothers overcame him and his eyes slid to Olivia once more as he suddenly imagined her pregnant. A little grin broke out on his face and he started wondering if she’d forgive him if he started stealing her birth control pills. He’d have to talk to his therapist about those thoughts, they were mighty intrusive.

“Another thing, we decided on a name for the baby,” Jonathan spoke up, sharing another smile with Vanessa before turning his eyes onto Colin, who was now gracious enough to gift him his full attention.

“Oh really? I thought you’d never land on one. Olivia and I were resigned to calling the baby peanut,” he joked, crossing his feet on the corner of his desk in an uncharacteristically relaxed move. He smiled at Olivia again, who giggled because it was true. They were actually going to call the baby peanut anyway, but the couple didn’t need to know that.

“Ian. We’re going to name the baby Ian. After your middle name, Colin,” Vanessa said, tears coming to her eyes. She didn’t let them fall though.

Olivia gasped, putting her hand to her mouth.

“We wanted to get your permission first though, just in case you two decided to have kids of your own. We didn’t want to take away your chances of using the name for your own kid…” Jonathan trailed off softly, trying not to make things uncomfortable.

Olivia stayed quiet in the chair. Her eyes finally landed on Colin’s who suddenly seemed incapable of speech or movement.He sat in the chair still as stone, just staring at the three of them. She decided to speak up.

“I think Ian is a beautiful name. When we have our own kid, maybe we can name him Sinclair after you Jonathan, unless Colin wants a junior as a boy’s name? If we have a girl, then I’d like to name her after Colin’s mom, Elena,” she said softly, her eyes welling up with tears as they stayed on his. Jonathan smiled a big toothy grin as he gave Colin a discreet wink before leaning down to kiss Vanessa’s belly.

“Vanessa, I would love to be there for Ian’s birth. Thank you for offering, let us know what we can do to help during. And of course you know that we’ll help with Allison. Now, can you two give me and Olivia a minute alone? We won’t be long, I promise,” Colin said, his deep voice sounding tight.

Jonathan helped Vanessa up before they exited the room, the door clicking shut softly.

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