Page 85 of The Pain We Allow


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This is unbelievably sexy, but I need us safe, amor, Colin thought to himself. He made a split-second decision. “Blood play and cutting are not in our contract except for page three. Do you trust me to do this for you, or do we need to add it in the other sections first? Tell me now,” Colin bit out, his eyes hard as he looked at Olivia, seeing her eyes widen and her lips quiver as she struggled with her emotions.

“I trust you,” Olivia whispered. “Colin, I t-trust you, please give this to me! Please…” she sobbed, her tears hot on her cheeks, her lips pressed together tightly as she tried to stem the extent of her emotions. Colin’s eyes roamed, taking in her face. His nostrils flared slightly at her desperation.

“Then only me. You come to me and ask me for what you need. You are not allowed to do this to yourself. Do you understand me, amor?” Colin asked, seeing her lips tightened. She shook her head yes, then gasped as he rather roughly tightened his hand on her wrist. Moving fast, he made a shallow cut horizontally on her arm, so fast she barely felt it until after it was done.

Riveted, she stared at her arm, the thin shallow line pebbling up with dots of blood. She sagged in relief.

“Another one, please,” she begged, refusing to look him in the eye.

Olivia winced slightly and let out a breath as he moved fast, giving her a cut parallel to the first one. She leaned forward on a groan and rested her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered, feeling the tears receding as sadness gave way to desire. Her hands came up to grip his forearms hard and Colin tensed as she kissed her way to his neck. He pulled away slightly, his eyes hard on hers.

“Why didn’t you come to me and talk to me about this?” he breathed, his eyes searching hers.

Olivia stared rather blankly as shame filled her and she stayed silent for a few seconds too long for his comfort. Colin’s eyes narrowed.

He snapped his fingers abruptly and Olivia stood there, semi-shocked as her green eyes met Colin’s plainly, not blinking. Tilting his head, he regarded her for a silent moment. Pushing off the counter, he walked into her body. Bending his head to her ear, he spoke softly, dangerously low.

“You really think because we’re married it changes anything between us, baby?”

Olivia’s breath audibly hitched, and she shook her head no, her eyes now watering as her body began to burn as it finally recognized the danger that was her husband.

“Okay,” he said calmly, his face turning to meet her eyes. “So when I snap my fingers, what is it I expect you to do?”

“Kneel,” she answered, swallowing hard.

“Kneel what, Olivia?”

“Sir,” she trembled, feeling a very different energy than she ever felt from him before.

Colin stepped back, opening the pantry door and then leaning a shoulder against the frame.

Olivia could see a sliver of Zero’s shoulder and the back of his head standing right outside the pantry door.

Colin stared hard at her, snapping his fingers once more. Arms folded, he crossed an ankle over his leg as Olivia sank to the floor at the exact moment Zero turned to face Colin and he froze seeing her in a submissive pose. Colin still held the knife in his hand, nonchalantly, as if he stood casually holding knives every day. The tip of the blade was still red with her blood.

Zero’s cold eyes snapped from the blade in Colin’s hands to the blood pebbled up on her arms, and for a heart-stopping second their eyes met and they shared something that Olivia couldn’t explain. Staring at Zero, Olivia mentally freaked out, thinking for some reason that Colin might try to share her with Zero, knowing it was crazy. But was it really when they were both seemingly unhinged, a match made in heaven?Then Colin spoke.

“Olivia may need protection from Carmichael, the world, hell, even herself at times, but Zero,” Colin turned his head to regard the dangerous, scary looking lethal killer. Olivia shook as the men locked eyes. “Understand me clearly, when I say that I am the one person on this Earth you will not be able to protect Lilith from.”

So shocked she couldn’t even feel relief that he wasn’t about to force her to be with Zero, Olivia felt herself free fall into hell at his words and watched almost as if she was outside of her own body as they two men stared at each other, their own look being communicated between the two of them. And in that moment, she decided she’d never share with him her secret thought, ashamed she was apparently that currently insane enough in her head to think Colin was capable of something like that without even discussing it with her first.

Her hands trembled as she clutched them tightly together.

Zero nodded once, then turned on his heel, without another glance back at them, and exited the home quietly to join the other guards outside. Olivia glanced away quickly as Colin turned his eyes back to her, seeing she was struggling trying to get her breath and unable to find her bearings. Cold, his eyes were merciless. That beast he’d kept successfully chained up all these months finally let free, summoned by Lilith herself.

He walked the few feet back to her and stood there silently, the blade eye level with her for a second, before he squatted down. Olivia’s heart pounded and her breath hitched when he took the blade of the knife and tilted her head up to meet his eyes.

“From here on out, you call me 'sir'.”

Olivia's eyes raised to meet his, stunned.

“It’s time for page three, baby.”

Chapter twenty-one

Page III

Colin helped Olivia prepare, having them both shower, and then dressed her lightly in a thin short dress and nothing else. He pulled her hair up and clipped the mass onto the top of her head and carried her into the room off their closet that he’d had built for this purpose but hadn’t yet shown her. He bent slightly, setting her on her feet with an arm around her arm to help her balance.

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