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“You won’t hurt me if you’re being honest with me about your feelings. You can choose to be happy.”
“So you’ve told me.” I kissed the top of her head. “I don’t want my happiness to be at the expense of yours.”
She turned in my arms, the tear tracks drying on her cheeks, as she gave me the briefest smile. “I think you do have a heart under all your bluster.”
I grunted my reply not sure what to say to that.
“Gena and your dad made their choices, but what they did doesn’t have to be how our story ends. No relationship is guaranteed, Jareth, and if you keep jumping ship because you’re afraid of hurting me, you’re fulfilling your own worst case scenario.”
I ran the back of my hand across her cheek in a light caress.
She leaned into my touch with a breathy sigh leaving her lips. “I don’t want to hurt you either. You’ve had enough of that in your life, but I can’t promise that I won’t. That’s not real life.”
“How did you get so wise?”
“Gran says I’m an old soul.” She sighed. “We need to talk.”
That phrase was typically like lighter fluid on a fire for me. It’s not that I hated those particular words, but strung together like that signaled to my brain that a fight was brewing. Yet, this was Hazel and if I wanted to make this work with her I needed to change my behavior, starting with this. I forced my initial spark of anger down and waited for her to continue.
“If you have any feelings for me, you need to communicate. This high-handed, we’re done, go-away doesn’t work for me. You have to stop.”
I nodded. Every moment with her was proving I didn’t have the strength to walk away despite my best intentions. “That’s fair.”
She’d been the only one fighting for us. Me choosing to push her away was a selfish move on my part. It was time for me to step up and be the man she deserved and fight for us too. I didn’t want to end up like my dad and Gena. They never took their chance at happiness and I didn’t want that to be me and Hazel.
“You need to share what you’re thinking and feeling with me.”
I smirked.
She whacked my chest with her hand. “Not just the sex stuff.”
“I know, Sunshine. I’ll do better.” For her, I would.
“I’m going to lay my cards on the table. I’m not playing games or hiding myself from you.” Her tongue poked out to wet her lips, and she released a small huff.
I didn’t interrupt, wanting to give her the chance to say what was on her mind.
“I really like you.” She paused. “No, that’s not right.”
I swear I heard her mutter something about being brave. My arms tightened around her.
“I’ve been falling in love with you for years. I want to see if we can be something. I know I’m probably freaking you out. What guy wants to hear the person he just started dating or whatever it is we’re doing… feels… like I do?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but she covered my lips with her hand.
“You don’t have to say that stuff just because I did.”
I removed her hand and held it against my chest, right over where my heart beat for her. “I’m not good at saying how I feel.”
It was her turn to smirk knowingly at me.
“But I have never wanted to stake my claim on someone as bad as I do with you. I want everyone to know that you’re mine and they need to back off or deal with me. I have never spent more than one night in a row with a woman, and I have never cared enough to put someone else’s needs above my own. I don’t know if that’s love and I don’t know if I’m built to be in a long-term relationship, but you make me want to try.”
“That’s all I’m asking for. A chance.” She snuggled into me.
Every second of this conversation made me want to run. To shove my walls into place so high I’d never see Hazel on the other side. But the reality, knowing I’d never see her again, or hold her in my arms, made me suck it up.
I wanted to believe in the two of us making it work just as hard as she did.
