AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Hunter
For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t drive down to Newport last night. I called Pat not long after Drew left my office and made up an excuse about having to work. I’m not sure she believed me. She knows I can work from there, if I have to. But she didn’t argue.
Once that was done, I pretended to be busy, tried to kid myself I wasn’t falling apart, and spent the rest of the afternoon replying to emails, and rejecting phone calls from just about everyone. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I’m still not, even though Drew has already called twice this morning. He left a message the second time around, to let me know he was just checking in, making sure I’m okay.
I’m not, and I can’t see the value in calling him back to tell him.
It’s my own fault. I know that. I knew it when I got back here last night and walked into my apartment, wondering why I felt so lost. The answer was obvious. It was because Livia wasn’t here. It didn’t help that the first thing I saw when the elevator doors opened was the table in the middle of the lobby. My mind instantly filled with images of the two of us falling out of the elevator…
I’d been kissing her and had already undone her blouse. As we tumbled out into the lobby, I pulled her jacket and blouse from her shoulders, and yanked down the cups of her bra, licking and sucking on her nipples, while Livia fumbled with my belt. We’d only been together for a few days; the whole thing was still a novelty, for both of us, but I’d been in meetings all day, and I’d missed her so much, I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t even wait two minutes to get her upstairs to my bedroom, so I lay her back on the table, pushing up her skirt, and unfastening my jeans at the same time. Then I rubbed my fingers over her, feeling her through her soaking panties, before I pushed them aside and thrust deep inside her…
The memory of her screaming my name, of coming hard inside her, was too much for me last night, and I staggered into the apartment, only to be faced with the couches, and yet more memories. I tried to block them out. But how could I?
We’ve made love in every room, on almost every surface.
There’s no escape.
So in the end, I poured myself a very large glass of wine and sat at the breakfast bar, trying not to think about sitting Livia up there, and tasting her… and instead, I went online and, using the information Miles had emailed me, I sent her some money.
It wasn’t what I wanted to do… not that I cared about the money. That wasn’t the point. What I wanted to do, was to hold her in my arms, to beg her to tell me I’d been wrong about the whole thing… that I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life. It wouldn’t have been an easy admission to make, especially as I’d been so sure of myself, but I’d have done it. Except for one minor problem…
If Livia was somehow able to tell me she’d had nothing to do with Ken Bevan, that the whole thing was a coincidence, and she’d never heard of the man before, I knew she’d never be able to forgive me for all the things I’d said and done to her.
It felt like a lose-lose situation. Either I had to hear that she’d planned it all – with, or without her father’s knowledge – or I had to accept that I’d fucked-up, that there was no connection between her and Ken Bevan and that I’d lost her forever… with no-one to blame but myself.
I didn’t want to face either of those prospects, so I drank my wine, poured myself another glass, and went up to the bedroom. My plan had been to shower and change, but I didn’t get that far. I was halted by the sight of Livia’s books, piled on her nightstand. I shook my head, telling myself it wasn’t ‘her’ nightstand anymore, just like it wasn’t her side of the bed I went to sit on… except it was. It always will be.
Putting down my wine, I picked up the books, studying the covers. The first was a romantic comedy, and I put it aside, taking up the second, which was a murder mystery. I was surprised by that, and thumbed through a few pages, my surprise diminishing when I noticed it was written in a light-hearted style. That was more like Livia…
The third book wasn’t surprising at all. It shocked the hell out of me. It was a beginner’s guide to social media advertising. I sat back a little, studying it, reading through the contents list. For a beginner’s guide, it was fairly comprehensive, and I flipped through the first chapter, pausing when I noticed some penciled notes in the margin. The section was basically posing the question: do you need social media advertising? The answer they gave was obviously ‘yes’, otherwise there would have been little point in writing the rest of the book, but the authors had included some statistics that appeared to be fairly up-to-date, which supported their perspective. Alongside these stats, Livia had written, ‘Check this with Hunter. Is it accurate?’
She had checked it, too. I remembered her coming to see me last week, and asking me about online ad performance versus printed media, the cost implications, and the potential results. We’d talked for a while and I’d enjoyed our conversation. I’d enjoyed spending time with her. Period. I’d assumed it was connected to something I’d asked her to do for me… not because she was doing homework on her own time, without me even noticing.
Could it be?
Had she really just come to work for me?
I put the books back then, and lay down, resting my head on her pillow, inhaling her scent and letting the pain engulf me. I knew I’d never sleep lying there, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up. It felt like I’d be leaving her behind… and I couldn’t do that.
Darkness slowly fell, shrouding the room in shadows, and although I closed my eyes every so often, I didn’t sleep. I kept recalling the look on Livia’s face when I told her to leave. The confusion in her eyes, her tears, her words of innocence… they’d all felt like an act at the time. But had they been? Or was I wrong about that? I thought about Drew’s description of Livia in the parking garage, broken and alone. Could it have been a coincidence? I couldn’t tell… and as the night wore on, the more confused I became.
I knew I missed her, without a doubt.
I knew I loved her more than ever.
And I knew I was right about one thing… and so was Drew. There was no way Livia was capable of using sex to manipulate me. I didn’t know how anyone could be as innocent as she was, but she was. And I loved her for it. I’ll always love her for it… for her smile, for her purity, for her curiosity…
I don’t know what time it was, but it was still dark when the city lights started to blur, and the realization of what I’d lost truly overwhelmed me.
As the first tear trickled down onto Livia’s pillow, that was the moment I broke.
Broken or not, I’ve got up, showered and dressed. I’ve got a coffee, and I’m sitting on the couch.
I’ve got no idea what to do with my day, and I’m wondering whether I should drive down to Newport after all… except Drew and Ella will be there, and they’ll expect me to talk. They’ll no doubt tell me I’ve screwed up, too.
Maybe I have. I still can’t be sure.
There’s no doubting the fact that Livia is an unusual name, but I can’t deny, she didn’t seem to recognize Ken Bevan, and he certainly didn’t acknowledge her. That could have been part of their act, though… so it’s not conclusive. Did he really come to the office to catch up with Dad and gloat over his achievements? Or was there something more to it? Something connected with Livia? It didn’t look that way… but again, I can’t be sure. One thing I can’t escape is the fact that she hasn’t mentioned her father, ever since I’ve known her, although I’m still uncertain whether that’s significant. Like Ella said, there could be all kinds of reasons for that, so it could be yet another coincidence, for all I know. The thing that’s haunting me most, though, for all kinds of reasons, is Livia’s reaction. Not to me, or even to her father – if he was her father – but later, in the parking garage. If what Drew says is right, does that make sense? It does if she’s innocent, but if she’s guilty, it makes no sense at all. There’s no way she’d have broken down like that, if she’d just been caught in a lie, no matter how big the lie.
