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I studied her closely, accepted what she had to say, and smiled at her. “Okay, I trust you to come to us when you need to.”
“I promise. The only thing I think about is who could’ve done it. But I’m not sure I’ll ever get that answer, so I’m trying not to dwell on it. It’s how I can move forward.”
Everybody handled trauma differently. Who was I to say how she managed her own? I never spoke about my traumatic night with her or anybody besides Abel. Even then, I didn’t talk a whole lot.
Kailey swiftly changed the subject, and Ella and I stayed quiet as we both worried about her and her legitimate fear of who could’ve done it. We finally relented and allowed the subject to change as Kailey launched into beauty care regimens and products I needed to start using.
* * *
The music blasted through the speakers, typical for a regular frat party and nothing like the past few get-togethers Abel had been taking me to, making this party far more uncomfortable. I stayed close to the wall, and Ella stood nearby while Kailey went to talk with some of her sorority sisters.
Abel had his brotherly duties, so he didn’t hold my hand. Even though I wanted him with me badly, I soldiered through. My guard stood firm, and my mouth went dry as soon as I walked into the crowded house, but I feared taking a drink of anything.
“Are you okay?” Ella leaned in and whisper-shouted in my ear. I jerked my head in a nod, but she frowned as she watched me closely.
Deep breaths became a saving grace as my eyes constantly skipped toward the basement door. I had been in this house hundreds of times since the awful night, but it affected me more so with the party.
People stopped and talked to me, which helped distract me for a few moments. Strangely, they didn’t treat me as Abel’s plaything anymore and spoke to me like an average person. Well, all except Kara St. Germain. Whenever she came around, she gave me the stink eye and constantly tried to divert Abel’s attention, which only angered him. I wanted to warn her she played with fire, but my petty side wanted her to get burned. Luckily, she never appeared around much, so I didn’t have to worry about her too often.
Several people from the society were there, and we all smiled and spoke to each other, but it came across as cordial, so Ella never became clued in. I wanted to tell her about it, but I followed the rules even though it sucked.
Ella followed closely and never once left my side. I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated it, but what would I say? It wasn’t like I could tell her what happened downstairs that night.
The breath in my lungs started to choke me, and I tried to swallow it as I glanced around the room for Abel, but his back faced me as he talked to a couple of frat brothers and teammates.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to get out of here?” Ella tapped my shoulder and turned me toward her.
Sweat built inside my bra, and the room grew warm. The temptation to leave had me open my mouth to ask her to get me out of there, but Evan showed up behind Ella before a word escaped. He smiled wide but frowned when he noticed my face.
“Chan? Is everything all right?”
Ella lifted her head and froze in place as she stared at Evan. Evan didn’t notice her as he studied me.
A little embarrassed, I took a breath and did what I always did growing up: faked it until I made it. “Evan, hi. Let me introduce you to my friend Ella. Ella, this is Abel’s frat brother Evan.”
Evan smiled politely at Ella but quickly did a double take as he noticed her. Ella blushed, and they shook hands. They held on a little longer than necessary.
“Hi, Ella. It’s nice to meet you.”
Ella became shy and softly said, “Nice to meet you, Evan.”
Evan didn’t take his gaze off her. Even when I browbeat my nerves and attempted to start a conversation, his eyes never strayed longer than necessary. It was adorable how Ella blushed and Evan became enamored as I watched.
“How are midterms going?” I asked and wondered if they remembered me.
They were both quiet and gazed at each other.
“I’ve only done one test so far, and the rest are next week? Luckily, I got the extra week with most of my classes.” I said like a shot into the dark.
“I’m sorry, what?” Ella asked and returned her attention. I chuckled, and I asked my question again. This time, they both answered.
“Are you happy with your major?” Evan asked me.
Shaking my head, I said. “I don’t have a major. I’m doing the prereqs right now. I have no clue what I want to do. A couple of months ago, I wasn’t living in a place like this.” I almost slipped about living in a woman’s shelter but stopped myself fast enough. “My world is changing so fast in front of my eyes, and I’m confused about what path to take. I don’t even know my options.”
Evan nodded and sipped on his beer. “I get it. This is quite a life to fall into.” He winked at our little secret. “Think of it this way, you’re having the best education possible. Why don’t you pick a major aligning with what you’re passionate about?”
“Yeah. You’re smart and a hard worker. You can make anything possible,” Ella offered.
