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Taking several deep breaths, I dialed Harold’s number and waited to speak to my stepfather for the first time.
“Hello, this is Harold, who’s calling?”
“Hi, Harold, this is Chan. Nice to finally speak with you.”
“This is who?”
“Chan.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know a Chan. You must have the wrong number.”
Desperate for him not to hang up, I shouted louder than intended. “Wait. I’m Chantilla, Gloria’s daughter, your stepdaughter.”
“Stepdaughter? I don’t have a stepdaughter. Is this a prank?”
I choked down my hurt as my mother once again denied my existence. But this time, it was to her husband, and a chill wrapped me tightly as I took in my mother’s latest form of rejection.
“I promise you, I’m your stepdaughter unless you and my mother already divorced, and she didn’t tell me.” The grief of my mother cutting me out of her life hit hard. She told me he didn’t want children, so she easily made it so I didn’t exist in their world. “I’m calling because my mom OD’d and is in the hospital.”
The man sighed, and his words left me numb. “Great, now she’s going to have to go into rehab. This isn’t good for my image. How dare she do this to me?”
The insufferable man’s selfishness shifted something in me, as if a steel rod had been thrust up my back and gave me a backbone because I had a few choice words to say instead of cowering. “Well, Harold, don’t worry, she won’t be going to rehab. I need you to come to the Regency Hospital and sign the waiver to take her off life support. You’re her husband, so I can’t do it, but your image shall be intact from here on out. You’ll be classed as the widower. You sure will get sympathy then. She’s in room 508.” I hung up on the bastard.
As I put the phone on the bed, I shattered, and tears burst out of me. Everything my mother had put me through and everything I had hoped for with her came to a head, and the anger started to build, not at my mother, per se, but at how she lived her life and allowed herself to be a pawn to men. She molded herself into their dream woman and became worthless to them when she couldn’t sustain the facade. Well, I wouldn’t be like her ever. Surviving only to seek validation.
If I learned anything from my mother, it was to save myself and never let another person’s opinion of me be all I needed. I loved Abel, but I didn’t need him. Not the same way my mother needed each and every one of her husbands.
Afraid to leave my mother alone, I waited for Harold to arrive. I had to give him credit. The asshole only made me wait an hour. He was much younger than I expected, and it dawned on me my mother struck again and royally lied about her age because the shock was an understatement when he learned he had an eighteen-year-old stepdaughter.
There were no tears or even genuine concern on his face. He looked put out that he had to come here. He didn’t even stay after he signed the forms.
“We had a prenup, and since I knew nothing about you, there’s nothing left for you.”
I sneered at him. “Trust me, there’s nothing I want from you. I don’t need your money.” I had never been so cold to another person, but the steel rod had risen again, snapping me into action, and another being rose toward the surface. It was my voice, thoughts, and opinions, but it wasn’t exactly me anymore. I had turned over a new leaf.
Watching my mother die while I held her hand had to be the hardest thing I’d ever done, even though she left me alone countless times my whole life. I couldn’t do it to her. I spoke my farewells and gained as much closure as possible in the situation, hoping with her death, I’d be able to move forward without worrying about her popping in and out of my life.
After my mother took her final breath, I sat next to her body for a while, trying to grapple with the new reality. The tears had dried up a time ago, and I faced the truth. At least now I had a father, but for how long? I would truly be an orphan.
“Ms. Montgomery, can I get you anything?” Helen asked.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You probably need the room, huh? I’ll just—”
Helen stopped me and put a hand on my shoulder. “No, dear, you stay as long as you need. I wondered if you wanted me to call somebody for you.”
Gazing at nothing, I shook my head. “No, I’ll be okay.” For once, I actually did have people to call, and they’d drop whatever they were doing and be here instantly, but I didn’t want it. My mother left me alone, and I had lived my childhood alone. It was fitting to say goodbye to my mother alone.
“Okay, dear, you take all the time you need.”
I stayed for another hour, kissed my mother on the forehead, and said my final goodbye. I waved at Helen as I left the ICU, worked my way out of the hospital, and drove on autopilot back toward campus. I didn’t know how to handle the situation, how to act, or what was expected of me.
Out of nowhere an oversized pickup truck came within inches of sideswiping me and forcing me into the ditch. Luckily, my reaction had me taking my foot off the gas and remaining in control of Ella’s car. Slowly coming to a stop and parking on the side of the road, I realized I was only three miles from campus.
I sat in the car with my shaking hand clutching my chest as I tried to get control of my breathing. I looked in the rearview for the truck since it had been coming from the opposite direction. It was long gone. With a heavy sigh, I rested my head back on the headrest and attempted to regain my composure.
Today was the day from hell and I wanted it to end already.
Chapter 18
