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I leaned over the railing, kissed his cheek, and sat in the chair provided by the bed.
“You look good today.” He did. He had color in his cheeks and didn’t look as gaunt as last time.
“Today has been a manageable day. But you, my dear, don’t look as bright as usual. What’s happened?”
Richard’s grip on my hand squeezed, but it was easy to tell he didn’t have much strength, which made this even more difficult. I struggled, the tears poured onto my cheeks, and Richard sat watching with sorrow in his eyes. If it were possible, I had no doubt he’d have gotten up and held me, which I’d always wanted from a parent.
The tears and sobs eased, and Richard waited patiently as I let everything out. He grabbed the tissue box beside his bed and handed it over. I took it and made a pile on his bed with all the used ones.
“Okay, sweetheart, can you talk now?”
Huffing out a breath, I nodded and wiped my face. “Mom died.”
The color I praised earlier on Richard’s face fled with the news, and he became like a ghost once more.
“She OD’d. I was ready for it, or at least thought I was, but now faced with it, I’m not.”
“Sweetheart, of course not. Come here.”
Richard moved to the side of the bed as best as possible and lifted his arm for me to curl in at his side. Watching him struggle to move to comfort me had more tears welling in my eyes, and I needed to be held by my father. It was the only thing I wanted, and I finally had a chance. I wasn’t going to waste it.
Quickly, I lowered the side rail and carefully moved into his side, ensuring I didn’t dislodge any of the wires. I curled around my dad and let him hold me and stroke my back.
“I hate you lost your mother, and soon you’ll lose me. I don’t want to leave you yet. You’re so remarkable. I want to experience life through your eyes. I shouldn’t have let the wasted years go by. I’m so sorry, my sweet girl.”
How did he know the right things to say? I didn’t want to deal with the past anymore. It had nothing to offer. I received more from my father these past ten minutes than I received from my mother in the past ten years, but it didn’t soften the blow of her death.
“There’s more.”
“What’s that?” His head rested on top of mine, and his arms slowed, but he didn’t stop rubbing my back.
“Oh, I hate telling you this.”
“Sweetheart, say it, and we’ll deal with it. I’ll do anything in my power to make things better for you. I hope you know that.”
Nodding, I sniffled and curled tighter into my dad. His holding me like a caring parent made things immeasurably better, and I wasn’t ready to let him go.
“I don’t want to upset you, but I can’t keep it secret anymore. I’m afraid of my boyfriend finding out and doing something he can’t take back.”
“Talk to me.”
“It’s Blake. He’s been really difficult lately. Before I found out he was my brother, he kissed me and since then won’t leave me alone. He keeps hitting on me and shows up at the weirdest times. If I didn’t have my friend Ella staying with me, I don’t know what Blake would’ve done.”
Richard’s grip on me tightened, and his breathing stopped for a second, then resumed, letting out a loud exhale.
“That boy has no sense. I’m so sorry. All I’m doing to you lately is apologizing. I wish I had cut him off completely. I’ve been wanting to and hoping he’d get his head on straight. If I could transfer everything to you right now in the will, I’d do it, but at this point, my lawyer instructed me not to do so because it’d make for a big legal mess for you after I’m gone. I’m at the point of illness where it could be contested as coercion.”
The heartbreak in his voice had me hurting for him. I hated to bring this to him. “I don’t want that. I don’t care about any of it. I want as long as I can have with you, Dad.”
The word slipped out easily, and I’d been saying it repeatedly in my head, but I didn’t know if I should say it or not. After losing my mom, though, I needed to remind myself I had a dad and one who wanted to be a part of my life. The whole relationship I wanted and calling him dad was a large part of it.
“Oh, Daughter. I never wanted to push, but you made an old man so happy by calling me dad.”
“I wanted to say it for a while but didn’t know if it was appropriate.”
“Sweetheart, I’m proud to be your father. The moment I became aware, I wanted to embrace the role desperately. I changed things around in my life to make sure I’d be somebody you’d want to call dad.”
Turning my head, I looked at my father. “I’m proud you’re my dad, too.”
