Page 81 of Under His Guard

I look over at Clara.

Shit. I must’ve jerked hard enough to wake her up or made a noise. Dammit.

“I’m…” The look of concern on her face makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. “I’m fine. Just a nightmare. Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Clara furrows her brows at me, rolling over to face me properly. As she sits up, holding the blanket around herself, my heart is still pounding.

“A nightmare?” She puts a hand on my shoulder. “You had one last night, too. Are you sure you’re okay?”

The latent images of the young boy burn behind my lids when I blink. Actually, I’ve had several.

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Just stressed about work and everything.”

I plaster on that practiced smile I wear for everyone. My own way of indicating Nope, don’t look over here, I’m fine without saying any words.

“Oh, sure. I get that. I think I’ve just been too tired to remember any nightmares. The hospital doesn’t let up, even when you’re dealing with shit.”

Stroking down her cheek, I nod. “No, it doesn’t.”

I hate the idea of Clara having nightmares, maybe even more than I hate having them myself.

“Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes that helps.”

Offering Clara that grin again, I shake my head.

“Nah, I’m fine. I think I’ll just get up and get something to drink. Walk it out, you know?”

“Oh, sure.”

Clara yawns, and it’s positively adorable.

“Go back to sleep, doc. You need your brain working on all cylinders.”

She laughs but then slides back down and lays her head on the pillow.

“Okay. Don’t stay up too late. You need sleep, too.”

“Of course not, doc.” I give Clara a quick kiss, then slip out of bed.

Exiting the room, my mind comes awake to the sound of the “sleep music” still playing, and I hold back the groan.

Yeah, real damn helpful you are.

Padding to the kitchen, I look inside the fridge for something, but I know I don’t want anything in there.

With a sigh, I turn around and go to the small bar in the living room. Snagging the bottle of whiskey from the bottom shelf, I spin open the cap and take a few long pulls from the bottle.

I give it a few minutes, making sure I’m good and buzzed, and then I just lie down on the couch. I’m not waking Clara up because of another fucking nightmare.

I’d rather pass out on the less than spacious couch than interrupt her sleep again.

Chapter 27

Clara

The hospital does not wait for anyone.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, and today is no exception.

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