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Julian laughed and winked at Cassia. He anticipated this was going to be an interesting visit to say the least.
* * *
Julian stared at the fire, enjoying the silence of the evening. Wynter had taken Cassia to the guest house to get her situated. Rafe had gone with Greyson and Dominque to secure donors.
Logan’s voice stirred him from his quiet contemplation. “The wolf’s gonna be all right.”
“Yeah, he’s adjusting. Viktor, he’s a bastard but he saved him. I was pissed when Greyson first brought him, but I guess he’s grown on me. He’s strong-willed. His wolf wars with the vampire inside him, but he’s getting control.”
“His wolf will always be stronger,” Logan assured him. “The blood of an ancient and High Priestess runs through his veins. He’s destined for great things.”
“He’s going to be an Alpha one day, I know it for certain. Not anytime soon but one day, his time shall come. I know this to be true.”
“And how about you, Alpha? It’s rumored you’ve been rogue. Wolves aren’t meant for solitude. I don’t know how you’ve done it all these years.” Logan sat in the chair across from him and held his glass up, watching the flames flicker through his cognac.
“Sometimes there’s no other choice. You do it for family. And then one day, you’re just doing it. You become oblivious to that inner desire to rule your own pack. Instead … you rule your own world. It’s not all bad,” he pondered. “I’ve traveled all over, learning different cultures and languages. I’ve kept loneliness at bay with a string of bad behaviors, but whiskey and women only go so far, and you realize it’s too destructive. You immerse yourself in hobbies and food. But first, you return to your soul. Who you are at the core. Your wolf.”
“I know what it feels like to deny my Alpha. You surely haven’t done so but to have no pack? I couldn’t have survived this long without one. From the time I was a pup, I’ve been part of a pack.”
“At your core, you are wolf. It is the only true thing in our existence.” Julian looked to his hands, fisting then stretching his fingers. “I once spent ten years running as wolf in Ladkah. Not with shifters, but our brothers, the wolves. It was just me and the animals. I lived as beast, roaming the Himalayan plateau. They’d lost their Alpha in an avalanche. I stayed with them for years until the true Alpha sought to fight me. Then it was time for me to leave, to return to a more human existence.”
Logan shook his head, took a long draw of his drink and exhaled loudly. “Ten years? Jesus, Julian.”
“Yeah. I only shifted a couple of times each year to keep my magick fresh.”
“I don’t think I could do that.”
“You are the Alpha in your home and pack.”
“I’m just sayin’. That’s hard core find yourself shit you’re talking about.”
“But it isn’t. It’s no more difficult than living in luxury.” Julian gestured to the room. “When we transform as people, we live as people. We don’t look back…we savor life. Savor our meals…like the one we just had. We lust. We fall in…” Julian stared though the golden liquid in his snifter as his mind drifted to his chameleon. The ice around his heart was thawing with each second of her presence. He shook off the warmth that reminded him of weakness. “We fall in love with life. As wolf, if given the freedom to indulge in our nature, to stay wolf as long as we want, we find comfort in what we have. We don’t stop to think what we don’t want. We just exist.”
“Not many of us have to go to those extremes,” Logan challenged.
“Yet that is what got me through all these years. I suspected one day my sister would find her mate. But this evil that attempted so long ago to destroy the wolves…it still exists. Something about this situation with Cassia. I?—”
“She’s your mate?” Logan asked without hesitation.
Julian maintained a look of indifference while responding. “I suspect there is a possibility.”
“She’s a shifter, so it’s possible.”
“I haven’t talked about it with her. Hell,” Julian laughed and shook his head, his mind still spinning with the thought of it. “I just met her a few weeks ago. I don’t even know how?—”
“And that’s how it works, doesn’t it? We are just goin’ along in life. Dumb fuck happy. Or not.” Logan laughed and raised his drink. “Then it comes along like a two-by-four across the forehead. You don’t expect it. You don’t know them. But your wolf?—”
“Your core.” Julian smiled and patted his chest.
“Yes. Your core knows. One hundred percent,” Logan agreed.
“Your wolf knows. But I need time with her. Time I don’t have.”
“You’re safe here. For a few days. Get some rest. Run with pack. Get yourselves energized. But …”
“But what?”
“If you’ve lived as wolf … you know. The time’s tickin’ on this mating thing. Being here ‘round all the wolves. You need to mark her.”
