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I guessed I should show up eventually to thank the other princes for coming for me and rescuing me from that dungeon in CrimsonTide. I owed them a life debt, but right now, the best way to roll was to not acknowledge that debt.
Pucker, however, was beside himself to be a host. Sy perked up as well, and kept criticizing my looks and pose.
Thrust out your chest so the princes can admire your boobs, she advised. We don’t hide our best asset.
How much effort could I put into it? I only had two tits!
I propped an elbow on the ridiculously large table, resting my chin on my palm, tapping my foot on the edge of the chair. Even the gown couldn’t stop me from getting comfortable. This was going to be a long day.
I closed an eye to get some shuteye, since I’d stayed up late to finish a hockey sports romance book. My other eye peered at Louis. He wore a white designer shirt and tight leather pants. That shirt must be new, since I’d never seen him wear it when I was his squire.
Wait! Did I see a bulge in the front of his pants? I almost squinted or opened both eyes to give it a better look, but I resisted doing either. I lifted my gaze, not wanting to give him any satisfaction about the fact that I’d kind of checked him out. It’d been traumatizing enough to watch him star in live porn. But Sy ogled him for good measure and smacked her lips.
Aren’t you with the fae prince? I asked.
I’m not dead, she said. Everyone looks. Rowan looks at other females too. He looks at you.
Whatever.
Louis grinned at me, heat lighting his pale blue eyes. He had his blond hair combed back like a hot Mafia boss. Dark Mafia romance was popular now, and I wondered how long the trend would last.
“Hello, Barbie,” the vampire greeted me with a deep, sexy voice. “I’m glad?—”
Pucker chose this moment to pop out beside him, and Louis leapt back.
“What the fuck?” Louis yelped, and Pucker flickered in and out of view, flashing his brightest smile at the vamp prince. “What kind of fucking game is Killian playing?”
“Greetings, Prince Louis.” Pucker bowed. “Welcome to the first date with Miss Barbie in our fantastic speed-dating show.”
Louis looked at me then at Pucker again, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Vampires were as paranoid as shifters.
“He’s one of the two guardians of the House of Chaos,” I explained in my husky voice while I shrugged. “He used to be Luther. Now he goes by Pucker.”
Louis’s scowl deepened. “The fucking poltergeist?”
“That’s misinformation, or at least it’s outdated.” Pucker sighed. “I’m the host of the speed-dating show, and I’ll be giving scores to all the princes, so you might want to take care not to curse in front of a lady, especially a virgin one. And FYI, you just used one minute of your five minutes of speed-date time.”
“Fuck off!” Louis said, zooming over and landing in the chair across from me.
“Minus two points for the House of Vampires for offensive language,” Pucker announced.
“Do you have to be here while I talk to Barbie? Well, don’t answer!” Louis ordered him, remembering the time limit. The more he scolded the ghost, the more minutes would be taken away from the date.
Louis gave Pucker a threatening glance before turning to me, his expression shifting to a charming smile. I could see him fighting not to look at the veins on my neck. He might try to be a better vampire, but his fangs would slide out eventually.
“Pardon me, Prince Louis, but I do have to answer. And I have to be present,” Pucker said dutifully. “As I said, I’m the host of the show.”
Louis huffed rudely and shooed Pucker. The guardian looked crestfallen, no longer excited about making his dating show perfect.
I had to cheer him up a little.
“Be nice to Guardian Pucker, please, Sir Louis,” I said. “It’s tough to be dead, and Guardian Pucker has been doing an amazing job getting this show running so smoothly. If you aren’t happy, sir, you should take it up with Sir Killian, but don’t take it out on Guardian Pucker, who has shown us only kindness and professionalism.”
Louis blinked, then shook his head. “You always have a soft spot for the underlings, which makes you stand out even more than the other candidates.”
“It’s not a competition,” I said, “but I appreciate your understanding, sir.”
“You’re too polite, Barbie.” Louis smiled at me encouragingly. “Does Killian treat you all right? You can always return to my h?—”
