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I ignore it.
Because I just did the one thing I swore I wouldn’t do in all of this.
I lost my head in Georgia.
I watched her walk into Valentino, and then I went off, finding a bench in an unobserved corner and diving straight into my phone. It didn’t take long to find what I was searching for. It took even less time to find all of Ezra’s secrets.
I told her I wasn’t going to back out, but it wasn’t until that moment that I was fully solidified in her scheme. Her ex is a real piece of work, and Georgia needs protection from things she doesn’t even know about. After that, it was too late.
I was even more invested than I was after my call with Grey and Zax last night.
I went and bought an outfit and the rings, seeing that ruby band and knowing that was the one I wanted on her hand, even if I didn’t allow myself to linger on why. And when I saw her turn—so fucking beautiful it physically hurt to look at her—part of me knew I was screwed. That feeling only multiplied when I was standing across from her, holding her hand, staring into her teary eyes, and saying I do.
That kiss…
It was meant to be chaste. It was meant to be nothing. But the moment my lips pressed to hers and I tasted the salt of her tears and felt her body trembling against mine, it was like a match to gasoline. It was like I was right back to where I was all those years ago with her.
Every time with her, I’d tell myself it was the last time. I’d promise myself that. And then, like the addict I was for her, I’d need another hit. Every time I went to her, I told myself I was simply going to see her to tell her it was over. Then she’d do something like smile or laugh or touch my arm or say something witty or just fucking look up into my eyes like she could see inside my head and wasn’t bothered by what she found there, and I was powerless to stop myself.
One more time. One more taste. Then I’ll stop.
And here I am, testing that addiction all over again. An alcoholic living in a bar or a junkie in a crack house. Only now, the temptation is stronger than ever having gone so long without her. I’m here to look out for her. I’m here to protect her.
But the one thing I can’t do is fuck or fall in love with my wife.
My wife…
I take in the black band on my left hand, twirling it around and around my finger with my other hand. The weight of it doesn’t feel as odd or misplaced as I was hoping it would. I’m married to Georgia and none of it is real, so I focus on the reason behind it. The reason I said yes in the first place.
I pull out my phone and bring up my text stream with my guys.
Me: It’s done. Georgia and I are officially married.
Asher: Mazel Tov. *Pops champagne*
I roll my eyes but smirk all the same. Thank God for fucking Asher and his inability to be serious. That was exactly what I needed.
The woman lighting a new cigarette from her old one glares at me from her chair and clears her throat loudly, and I groan. For fuck’s sake. I hit the buttons again and return to my phone.
Zax: How’d it go? Georgia okay?
I honestly don’t know because I kissed her like her mouth was the incarnation of the Holy Spirit and I’d just found God and enlightenment all at the same time, and I’m not even a religious man.
Me: She cried, but she’s tough.
Grey: I still can’t believe this. You’re fucking married to my cousin.
Me: It’s not real.
It’s not. Even if I can’t stop thinking about her as my wife.
Callan: Sorry I wasn’t there to be your best man, but it sounds like you did fine without me.
Asher: Dickwad, if anyone was going to be the best man, it was me. I am the best best man ever. I’m just sad I didn’t get to plan your bachelor party. Vegas would have been perfect for it.
Callan: Thank God you didn’t, or we’d all end up arrested and needing Lenox to wipe our records. Again!
Asher: That wasn’t all my fault! Suzie aided and abetted.
